Thanks, kids

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 252
You deserved it 8 734
Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Daddy doesn't buy anything for them? That's what you think. What about the countless hookers? The cocaine? The Everclear? All that meant NOTHING to you?! Well, it meant THE WORLD to them.

76 3
paulymath 0

Maybe "literally never bought anything for them" includes food, shelter, clothing and so forth. You know, literally never bought anything for them. The words the OP used? Sound familiar? Not supporting the children / family at all is a far more valid reason for divorce than just never buying them presents.

61 3

Comments

plexico 3

You don't "get" marriage. Men don't buy their wives presents -- they'll always get the wrong thing. Wives give their husbands frequent, intense, orgasmic sex and then the man is all too happy to let the wife have his credit card and go buy her own shit.

3 1
ScaryyMary 14

Do you have ANYTHING better to do than post comments on here? Don't get me wrong, you're hilarious... but seriously, man, you need a life...

3 2
XOfiestypixie 0

Well, besides commenting on FML posts, Plexico is the deity of the "Plexico have my babies" cult and is worshipped by countless women around the world. Well, me, Intoxicunt, MercyFML, etc. (it should be a cult, Toxi, cuz all the cool kids are in cults =] )

1 2
gtdoll 0

yes, yes :] u r invited. i laugh at your comments. *high fives* you and toxi got me in truble in class lol. the fml app, on my phone, i literally started laughing in class. :] BUT! if you i go!

1 2
allmidnighteyes 10

Sorry, gtdoll, you are not invited. The inability to spell words properly and capitalize will taint the plexico gene pool, and we don't want any of that going on. :]

1 2
Intoxicunt 5

Yeah, I'm the dictator. I like the idea of calling it a cult. Polygamy FTW! Other person, we will consider your application. Rachie is invited, of course. Sorry, AME, you're a dude. ;)

1 2
redbluegreen 40

Twinny isn't allowed to make babies. I'm glad I make someone laugh. XD Oh! Someone tried to call me a funnel cake. D:

1 1
allmidnighteyes 10

I never said I was invited in, Savannah. I was just keeping the plexico pool pure :]

0 0
Intoxicunt 5

I just felt like trying to make you "come out". I see you're too smart for that... FUNNEL CAKE!!!1!

0 0
toink 0

I'm a guy. Can Plexico make my babies too?

0 0
plexico 3

Thanks, captain_cookie for your concern, but I have a very full life outside of FML. However, I really do enjoy this site, especially certain other participants, greatly. Toxi and pixie, Sssshhh! Let's call it a "club" to the outside world, even though the insiders really know it's a cult.

0 0
cerebellum_fml 0

Teach me of your ways plexico

0 0
redbluegreen 40

Aw, Plexico has another fan! You're too young for me, boo. I'm sorry.

0 0
Intoxicunt 5

Alright, alright. "Club" it is. It just makes me think of either sitting in a tree house with a "no boys allowed (except plexi)" sign, or a club sammich. I guess that's a good thing. Other dude: How dare you have a picture like plexico's! You will never know his ways! However, Northern Downpour = win, so it's all good. RBG, I'm 17 too. Can I make babies with you?

0 0
cerebellum_fml 0

intoxicunt: plexico's pic is mirrored in the colors.

0 0
ScaryyMary 14

Makes me glad to know the funniest guy on FML doesn't fail at life. So, how does one get into this "club"?

0 0
lets_be_ian 5

actually, just some friendly advice for Plexico... age guidelines shouldn't be too much of an issue, from a cult programming (er, that is club education) point of view, the younger the better. The younger you find your members the more time and less effort it is to teach them cult... (er, again club) ways such as how to give frequent, intense, orgasmic sex and where to shop.

0 0
mizu22 0

She didn't get married to have to live like a single mother. If she's the only one buying things for her kids and the only one supporting them, why should she stay married to him? Marriage is sacred and a partnership but this marriage seems to have lost both those aspects. Maybe counseling can help, and I'd start there but I can see why she'd want the divorce. Best of luck to you!!

11 0
I_am_stupid_also 6

YDI for not knowing what the hell is going on in your own family.

2 15
jonny2x4 0

YDI for not bribing your kids properly. You do know the only reason they like one parent over the other is because of the toy they buy for them, don't you? Maybe he didn't actually buy them, but you haven't actually made it clear that you were the one that bought them.

6 3
rawrr456 0

woah , thats ****** up seriously if this is realy youre just a LOSER.

0 5
avoidthegirl 6

You're divorcing your husband solely based on the fact that he hasn't bought his kids anything? I mean, I feel bad for the kids but that's the shittiest reason for divorce I've ever heard.

2 10
jiltedfriend 0

That sucks OP but don't dwell on the fact that your children would rather live with their father. I'd say embrace it. If they want to live with a man who apparently doesn't buy things for them then let them. It'll give you a better opportunity to spend money on yourself :P

3 1
ILoveJace01 0

Please tell me there's more to the reason why you are divorcing him other than just he doesn't buy your kids presents. That seems like something you can resolve.

2 7
riku3220 2

Usually the word anything refers to more than presents. By anything she could mean food, clothes, school supplies, project materials, generally not giving a damn about the kids.

8 0