Work, Customers, Weird and Awkward: Delusional - FML

Delusional

By why - 06/11/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 107

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 187

By Confused and Disgusted - 23/02/2015 23:42 - United States - Sparta

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 286

You deserved it 2 424

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Spicy

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 103

You deserved it 3 780

Glad to help out

By psychworker - 15/12/2009 18:04 - United States

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 158

You deserved it 3 941

By imy - 18/10/2011 15:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 129

You deserved it 9 457

By godhatesme - 26/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 627

You deserved it 36 825

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 129

By 123literateABC - 04/11/2015 03:10 - United States - Grand Haven

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 1 536

Perv

By WhyMe - 09/04/2017 22:00

Spicy

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor, then followed up with, "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 375

You deserved it 380

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 131

You deserved it 196

Next

Top comments

Brightside86 30

Saturday 7 November 2020 1:19

It's said you miss all the shot's you don't take...Feels like this would have been a good one to pass on though.

SAM i AM 4

Saturday 7 November 2020 19:26

looks like you could be "essential" in more ways than one! Sorry tho!

Comments

Brightside86 30

Saturday 7 November 2020 1:19

It's said you miss all the shot's you don't take...Feels like this would have been a good one to pass on though.

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 7 November 2020 1:23

And it wasn't..?😕

mariepastyglue 30

Saturday 7 November 2020 15:27

Was he in the parking lot holding it out on a map?

SAM i AM 4

Saturday 7 November 2020 19:26

looks like you could be "essential" in more ways than one! Sorry tho!

Nhayaa 21

Sunday 8 November 2020 5:48

Dick pic in live. I'll never get why they think that's what we want...

Iamthebanzai22 20

Sunday 8 November 2020 13:57

Sounds to me like he 'wants' a charge for sexual harassment. If you don't lay a charge against him, he will just continue doing that to women and using the same excuse. Do something and stop other women from being victimised like this.

Suaria 38

Sunday 8 November 2020 21:10

I kinda wish it was that simple. However I work in a psych hospital. I've seen other men naked although none so far had purposely showed me. i'm sure he won't be the last guy's dick I see at my job. I did report it to the proper channels at my job so that's really all I can do.

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The Top

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 74

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 589

You deserved it 24 369

Today, I've had a shitty day and everything at work went tits up. I thought it'd get better when I get home but no, I smashed my fingers with my car door and now it hurts like hell, and my shitty day had just got even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 107

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 014

You deserved it 9 649

Today, I spoke to a highly recommended therapist for my special-needs child. After 45 minutes of describing our challenges, heartbreaks and other very personal information, she told me that her schedule was permanently full. But she invited me to go through the phone book to find someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 282

You deserved it 1 779

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 325

You deserved it 198

Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 308