Intimacy: Multitasking

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 238

You deserved it 6 803

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Same thing different taste

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 079

You deserved it 27 471

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 12 434

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 746

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 2 133

By Gassy - 14/12/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 330

You deserved it 10 925

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 437

You deserved it 9 129

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 290

You deserved it 6 530

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 784

You deserved it 5 714

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 533

You deserved it 1 600

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:43

Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:45

She blew you alright.

Comments

yeti37 16

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:23

if you were positioned correctly, your nose should have been the cork in the bottle.

notforbirds 9

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:32

I don't think you were doing it right...

ellytoad 13

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:32

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:12

and you'd have a convenient hole to put it in. what? too much?

BananerzFresh 12

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:59

She had the scaredy farts.

Marrach 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 5:08

I don't know what that exactly is supposed to mean on your behalf, but it was something that made me laugh.

gregkingsley 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:07

Nobody likes a cup of chili during sex

adrimarie23 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:11

Guess the full course Mexican dinner was a bad choice!

Deirdre_Curry 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:13

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

pickles1994 18

Thursday 15 November 2012 11:00

Disgusting*

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Thursday 15 November 2012 11:40

That's*

duckfan4life 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:21

I doubt any guy could keep one if that happened to him

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:13

Haha, Bitch.

duckfan4life 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 5:22

I didn't even realize that! Must be destiny...

thefella 10

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:29

Not gonna lie I scrolled down to see who had comment 69

knoxxx 22

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:23

Lmfao that's terrible. Poor girl, she's probably mortified. Awkward sexual encounters can leave awkward emotional scars.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:38

When you're south of the border that's always a possibility.

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 200

You deserved it 7 093

The Top

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 874

You deserved it 1 964

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 821

You deserved it 3 038

Today, I found out the guy taking the cubicle next to mine is the annoying dudebro who punctuates, like, every sentence he says with, like, the word "like" every, like, three words. Like… FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 113

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 281

You deserved it 2 893

Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 1 582

Today, I forgot my contact solution and used my sister's. When I put them in, my eyes burnt like hell. Apparently my sister has a new solution that is acidic and only gets neutralized after 12 hours in a special container. The warning is on the INSIDE of the bottle label. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 926

You deserved it 612