Intimacy: Multitasking

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 238

You deserved it 6 803

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Same thing different taste

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 079

You deserved it 27 471

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 12 434

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 746

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 2 133

By Gassy - 14/12/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 330

You deserved it 10 925

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 437

You deserved it 9 129

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 290

You deserved it 6 530

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 784

You deserved it 5 714

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 533

You deserved it 1 600

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:43

Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:45

She blew you alright.

Comments

mistydawn76 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:21

Holy crap! This is soo damn funny! I feel sorry for the both of you , but I do love the comments posted they are hilarious!!

HyperSquirrel 8

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:28

God I've always wondered how often this happens to couples who try 69.. >.< I mean, I'd imagine it happens more often than one might think.. O.o

52564 8

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:31

It only happens once

52564 8

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:29

That's why it's called 69, what's the matter not up to the other 68 to follow?

CrissyyyS2 22

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:46

If its from the ******, it's a queef. It's not like we wanted to "fart" out of there. You guys push too much air into the ****** causing queefs.

FunnyMedic 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:47

And that's why you don't 69 fat girls...

gmc_blossom 21

Thursday 15 November 2012 7:36

So you're saying only fat girls fart? Okay.

SierraaaNicoleee 26

Thursday 15 November 2012 8:07

155- That doesn't even make sense, oh and you're a dick.

DogStew 20

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:57

I wish I had a girlfriend to fart in my face. At this point, beggars can't be choosers. :-(

grannygruber 6

Thursday 15 November 2012 7:16

She didn't fart, it was just some asshole talking to you!

toposhad 2

Thursday 15 November 2012 7:20

lick her clean

sprints54 19

Thursday 15 November 2012 7:24

U want sympathy? You'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis.

salarroyo10 2

Thursday 15 November 2012 7:29

That is the best thing I've ever heard!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I left my job, fulfilling my one month's notice after receiving a job offer from a much better-paying role. After saying goodbye to everyone, I left the building. Not two minutes later, the company who was offering the new job called to say they'd changed their minds, and there was now no longer a job on offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 135

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 261

The Top

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 231

You deserved it 3 775

Today, I had one of my biggest dance shows ever. After months of practice I had finally gotten the lead position. When I entered the stage and raised my arms my straps fell down and I flashed an audience of 5000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 615

You deserved it 440

Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 209

You deserved it 2 292

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 202

You deserved it 7 548

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because apparently, I'm a drug addict who can't speak without slurring and stumbling with my words. I have a recurring speech impediments and the stammer is definitely real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 165

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 4 900