Intimacy: Multitasking

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 238

You deserved it 6 803

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Same thing different taste

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 079

You deserved it 27 471

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 12 434

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 746

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 2 133

By Gassy - 14/12/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 330

You deserved it 10 925

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 437

You deserved it 9 129

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 290

You deserved it 6 530

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 784

You deserved it 5 714

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 533

You deserved it 1 600

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:43

Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:45

She blew you alright.

Comments

xtalondriver 10

Thursday 15 November 2012 15:05

Technically, OP, you were PSYCHOLOGICALLY unable to maintain an erection.

orangerze 2

Thursday 15 November 2012 15:05

I can tell the male vs. female commenters.

diva239 8

Thursday 15 November 2012 15:49

That's awful. But I feel for your Gf too. Should would of been so embarrassed and I'm sure she felt so bad. Sadly this stuff just happens sometimes.

jeffmusson1309 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 17:18

brandoneyez1 25

Thursday 15 November 2012 18:01

I would have just poked her and kept playing... Act like it never happened.

porkpiehat 8

Thursday 15 November 2012 19:46

Wait, she was giving you oral pleasure and you're complaining about a little unintentional gas?

stevo918 3

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:02

Im sure we'll see her side of the fml soon

insaneygolover 9

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:08

Are you sure it was a fart? It could've been a queef and a queef is normal and means good sec

noisebox 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 21:25

She really doesn't like you or respect you.

er1ca 2

Thursday 15 November 2012 23:39

n00b

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If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

Today, I'm 25 and still a virgin. At this point I'm not sure to feel embarrassed or proud. Imagine being 25 and not know what the fuck you are doing in the bedroom. I don't know who it would be more awkward for, me or them. Maybe I'll just avoid human interaction all together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 142

The Top

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 710

You deserved it 56 598

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 110

You deserved it 61 915

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 544

You deserved it 59 922

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 043

You deserved it 8 048

Today, I’m camping in the middle of nowhere and my mom wrote me not one, but two emails asking where my car keys are, because she needs to move my car. She apparently did not think to check in the key cabinet first. You know, the one where we keep… keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 98

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 3 453