Intimacy: Great handle!

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 434

You deserved it 9 129

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 2 129

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 12 434

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heard to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 702

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 235

You deserved it 6 803

By atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 440

You deserved it 31 890

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 365

By Sadman - 23/04/2011 08:37 - Canada

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 207

You deserved it 10 813

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 293

Fetish

By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 554

You deserved it 284

homesuckfucker 28

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:06

I'm sorry your girlfriend would be so disrespectful. Things that happen in an intimate situation should remain intimate. Did you let her know it makes you uncomfortable? Communication is important in a relationship, after all. Perhaps she could convince your friends to stop. If not, they'll forget about it once it stops being entertaining. Pretend it doesn't bother you! Play along with it! That's how you shake off elementary school bullies, and they seem to be at about that level of maturity.

LaColombianita 26

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:10

Lmao that's hilarious, but I definitely would have kept that as an inside joke between the 2 of you only..

Comments

emmatheamazingx 17

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

emmatheamazingx 17

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:16

But make best of the situation

wvcheesehead 13

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:25

The Mandarin says "and you'll never hear me coming"

PokeyPorcupine 18

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

That's seriously funny.! Smile and take it in stride.

desoxyn242 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:27

I think it's a good nickname

boating_guy 33

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:11

It's funny, as long as it isn't you

riffehunter 16

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:49

There could be worse ways to earn that nickname.

everlastingsnow_fml 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

Should have played it cool and ask her to bring you a beer right after.

Nolimit2217 32

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

Why be embarrassed? You're a man, we both cum and fart.. Sometimes at the same time!

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:58

Not that other people should know about it. Especially if it happened at an inopportune time like sex.

homesuckfucker 28

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:06

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 3 January 2015 9:25

Dude, they hadn't has sex in a month. Something's not right.

weatherxveins 29

Saturday 3 January 2015 17:41

Maybe one of them has been away for work or vacation, or one of them was really sick for awhile..

homesuckfucker 28

Saturday 3 January 2015 20:23

Sex is not everything in a relationship. My girlfriend and I are very much in love and don't get to have sex very often. Now, there is a possibility that OP's girlfriend is losing interest. I'm not denying that. But it's wrong to make false assumptions. There are a number of reasons why they might not have had sex, and disinterest is just one.

Vegetarian27 24

Sunday 4 January 2015 12:31

Guys spill everything to their mates. It's hardly ridiculous to expect a girl to return the favour.

homesuckfucker 28

Sunday 4 January 2015 21:19

I personally think what happens in the bedroom should STAY in the bedroom, unless you're fishing for someone to join in.

kirasant 19

Monday 5 January 2015 17:42

"Ignore it or play along" doesn't work with elementary school bullies or male friends. This girl could well have gotten OP labeled "CumFart" for the rest of his life. I've got a friend that has been called by his embarrassing high school nickname so long it was on his wedding invitations.

homesuckfucker 28

Monday 5 January 2015 23:56

We obviously keep different company. :/

enginsteve 17

Tuesday 6 January 2015 11:53

I find it hilarious that homesuckfucker is so in touch with his inner side and is explaining the benefits of communication in a relationship.. Just go homesuckfucker.. Lmao

homesuckfucker 28

Tuesday 6 January 2015 21:51

I apologize if my screen name leads you to a false conclusion regarding my personality and level of intellect.

homesuckfucker 28

Wednesday 7 January 2015 14:20

Wait. My "inner side"? What the hell?

Vickeh 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:09

I feel ya OP. Some people are just tactless...

19990231 29

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:10

What happens in ****** stays in ******.

brasiliano 16

Saturday 3 January 2015 3:37

You sir just won the internet for today.

allie2590 31

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:56

Technically the fart happened outside of the ******.

LaColombianita 26

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:10

Lmao that's hilarious, but I definitely would have kept that as an inside joke between the 2 of you only..

NightHawk387 22

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:14

I think it should be pointed out that is not what a cumfart is.

Exodiafinder687 58

Saturday 3 January 2015 2:02

Do I even want to know? Do any of us even really want to know? Still somebody will Google it. Just keep a bucket or trashcan nearby for when you Google it.