Intimacy: Jeez

Jeez

By not getting any anymore - 22/02/2009 03:23 - United States

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 513

You deserved it 7 849

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 719

You deserved it 25 755

Mistaken identity

By fmlfmlfml - 20/07/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 088

You deserved it 4 912

Sick sex, dude

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 02:13 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 5 224

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 138

Guilt trip

By annoyed - 11/05/2016 11:40 - Netherlands - Maastricht

Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 033

You deserved it 1 424

By WTF? - 01/04/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 889

You deserved it 8 198

Cougartown

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 02:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 12:26 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 526

You deserved it 4 411

All in the family

By notasgood - 12/01/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 3 333

By hmacy - 01/10/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 588

You deserved it 538

mleeb 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 9:21

seriously... what else is there to do or say besides laugh and "wtf?"

burdenofaday 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 9:52

Gods are man's worst creation.

Comments

melissapoo 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 2:45

catholics ftl. date someone who doesn't have god lurking over their shoulder.

skeptictank 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 20:45

Luckily, it shouldn't be hard to dump the lunatic.

omgbeckyyy 0

Friday 6 March 2009 7:36

#44. Yes.

whirrledpeace 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:35

I know how you feel, my ex (whom I dated and was sexually active with for three years) told me that having sex with me was what made him "unchristian." Now I'm responsible for his lack of faith in God.

themaneman31 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:04

Madi?! Is that you?!

cgchoua 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 11:43

wow- story of my last long term relationship. GET OUT NOW. it is so not worth putting up with a ****** like that.

Meta_fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 9:03

Yeah... my boyfriend's ex was like that. Now he's with a nice atheist girl (me) and is glad he doesn't have to deal with that sort of thing anymore. You should find a nice atheist, too.