Health, Painful and Injury: It's the thought that counts

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 554

You deserved it 2 007

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Same thing different taste

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 465

You deserved it 1 283

Arsehole

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was taking my shower, as usual. As I was putting soap on my behind, I heard a pop. I also felt a burning sensation near my butthole. I have a blood filled bubble in my arse, which got infiltrated with soap. I have a drums lesson in a bit. My butt is stinging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 128

Painful relief

By Anonymous - 11/04/2016 07:25 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 557

You deserved it 3 395

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 565

You deserved it 4 656

By susan - 24/02/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 431

You deserved it 3 288

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 908

You deserved it 1 202

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 115

Chill

By FennFoxx - 21/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Cheraw

Today, I decided to take a relaxing bubble bath in my jacuzzi. I poured in the bubbles, turned on the jets, and got in. I realized too late that the jets had caused the bubbles to overflow and had made a huge mess in my bathroom. Relaxing, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 131

You deserved it 1 896

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 384

You deserved it 3 269

Little devil

By Girlie - 07/05/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 129

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 27 November 2012 18:49

Aw shit, that made me wince, that does sound ungodly. That was a close shave if you ask me, you almost turned two holes into one.

happle 21

Tuesday 27 November 2012 18:46

I really can't imagine two butt cracks... I hope you heal quickly. :)

Comments

ManInTheMachine 19

Tuesday 27 November 2012 18:57

That was an asinine thing to do.

gc327072 30

Tuesday 27 November 2012 20:16

assinine*

chisty87 16

Tuesday 27 November 2012 18:59

The situation sounds really painful but the last sentence has me dying of laughter...sorry OP it's nothing to laugh at but I can't help it

anythingmustbe 18

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:02

I feel bad for you I guess you got to burst the bubble to your husband that he isnt sharp as a razor.

YouSoClear 6

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:03

Twice the fun for him? ;)

lovelykisses86 2

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:05

talk about a deep shave.

Dcm210 19

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:06

Woah painful. Hopefully you heal fast.

DarthVader77 9

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:08

Hilarious but painful :(. Your husband is surely clumsy

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:13

Your husband is so cheeky!

unknown_user5566 26

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:18

FYL for sure OP, but I can't help feeling bad for your husband. He tries to do something nice for his wife, and ends up injuring her instead.

Schizomaniac 24

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:37

She must be married to Bad Luck Brian.

fmmfl1993 1

Wednesday 28 November 2012 21:55

Prepare a nice bath for his wife. Gives his wife a 2nd buttcrack.

Daze619 3

Tuesday 27 November 2012 19:21

I crashed my motorcycle last week and cut my backside open when I slid, so I have 2 butt cracks also. It's miserable to deal with. I feel your pain

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 6

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

The Top

Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at work, so I decided to turn on the radio and wait in my nice warm car. I woke up two hours later with twelve missed calls from my boss and a dead car battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 479

You deserved it 38 428

Today, I found out that my company was throwing a work picnic. When i showed up, I realized that it had been planned months ago and I wasn't supposed to find out. The entire restaurant was there greeting me with faces of utter shock. Nothing says 'you suck' more than being 'that guy' at your job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 134

You deserved it 6 281

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 261

You deserved it 7 001

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 141

You deserved it 4 402

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 156

You deserved it 4 100

Today, while scrolling through my contact list, I realized I have more therapists and support workers than I do friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 146