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To be fair, your butt's already split straight down the crack. Unless you were previously some kind of dome-assed single-cheeked abomination. And in that case the shaving cream opened up a beautiful new avenue of possibilities for you, my friend.

I reeeeally hope you landed on it sideways and not when it was standing straight up. That could have ended much, much worse...talk about a close shave :p

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To be fair, your butt's already split straight down the crack. Unless you were previously some kind of dome-assed single-cheeked abomination. And in that case the shaving cream opened up a beautiful new avenue of possibilities for you, my friend.

I reeeeally hope you landed on it sideways and not when it was standing straight up. That could have ended much, much worse...talk about a close shave :p

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Imagine if OP fell onto it while it was standing. That way, OP would have to tell the folk at the hospital that she "slipped and fell" on it. That'd be a whole another FML.

I'm not going to be able to walk comfortably for the rest of the day. The crack, because of surgery, and eyeball stuff... just... *dry heave*

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Never said she did. I added it as one of my own bad things to happen. Some people can't handle needles or blood. Some puke at the mention of the word puke. I don't know. Maybe my English is broken. I'll take it to the shop tomorrow.

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You are the combination of my two friends - one a premie with an artificial ass and one petrified of anything eye related. He gets freaked out knowing when people have contacts in!

So it is actually possible to just fall onto random objects with your anus. I need to give all the people going to the ER with stuff up their rectum the benefit of a doubt now..

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