Love, Poopoo peepee, Awkward and Health: Compromising situation

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 687

You deserved it 4 953

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Same thing different taste

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 339

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 1 018

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 113

You deserved it 4 851

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 505

You deserved it 2 944

By oops - 30/07/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 202

You deserved it 7 114

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 244

You deserved it 676

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 905

You deserved it 3 543

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 824

By arse of fire :( - 23/02/2013 00:31 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 118

You deserved it 3 881

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 382

You deserved it 4 049

Lauren10102 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:41

Climb out the window... NOW

FMLandurstoo 9

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:45

so you're posting the FML from the toilet?

Comments

Arch27 27

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:08

I imagine it was something you ate, but it still sucks. As someone who has chronic digestive issues, I feel your pain OP. I've been there.

picklelove 4

Friday 19 August 2011 3:02

You live, you learn.(:

starburst7596 14

Saturday 1 October 2011 19:21

That's what you get for calling dinner supper.

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 13 November 2011 14:58

Fyl

Vocal1 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 9:57

along came polly flashbackkk!

simongergi 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:28

use your hands.

bree_doll14 3

Tuesday 1 May 2012 3:09

Have youu ever seen the movie "Along Came Polly" ? Ben Stiller can relate

TrentFairburn 3

Thursday 11 October 2012 21:36

Oh yeah lol that was funny. He dumped the toilet out the window lol

pkbeaulieu 14

Friday 8 August 2014 0:41

Should have jumped in the shower and came out naked. He would have loved it and would have never known what just went down :)

FweakofCydonia 40

Sunday 3 January 2016 22:05

Jump into the shower!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 21 631

You deserved it 10 125

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I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 6 668

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 165

You deserved it 362

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I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 422

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I agree, your life sucks 2 568

You deserved it 443

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I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 173

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 168

You deserved it 3 507

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 967

You deserved it 43 630