Broken and Love: Denial - FML

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 685

You deserved it 1 018

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Same thing different taste

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 460

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 011

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 674

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 1 735

Stinker

By taman - 12/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 933

You deserved it 5 353

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 823

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 966

You deserved it 3 556

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 06/07/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Halstead

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 608

You deserved it 501

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 501

You deserved it 2 944

Next

Top comments

HeyItsCamilo 17

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:47

im waiting for him to post"today,i shat myself on a date,on the brightside i think she didn't notice"

MitchRapp 20

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:54

Sounds like a crappy date.

Comments

Exorcio 14

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:46

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

HeyItsCamilo 17

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:51

he just didnt give a shit

danielcho7727 20

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:03

i hope he gets his shit straight

ChocolateScyther 19

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:39

why do people always make those "shitty situation puns" if they know they're gonna be downvoted into oblivion?

Mpii 11

Saturday 16 July 2016 13:15

Because their sense of humour is just as shitty...

tintarroja 31

Saturday 16 July 2016 14:05

because they don't give a shit...

will968 15

Saturday 16 July 2016 19:01

Well... Shit, why do you think? He couldn't give two ***** about this crap

HeyItsCamilo 17

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:47

im waiting for him to post"today,i shat myself on a date,on the brightside i think she didn't notice"

pharmalady 10

Saturday 16 July 2016 17:03

It was first up on the moderation list for me this morning.

Balphleair 24

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:50

Funny thing I read this while in the bathroom

Seabass_Chan 33

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:51

Isn't that where most people are while reading FML?

zaidthunder1 27

Saturday 16 July 2016 10:34

True Story.

lakesofire 13

Saturday 16 July 2016 16:39

same haha

MitchRapp 20

Saturday 16 July 2016 8:54

Sounds like a crappy date.

draftskink 23

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:02

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

SauceySarah 30

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:02

Poor guy. Too embarrassed to acknowledge it. Deny, deny, deny.

anonymoususer070 17

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:08

As much as he was probably embarrassed and I feel for him maybe you should've asked if he wanted to go home and change that way everyone around you didn't have to notice because most likely they did and you could've gone to do something else after so he didn't have to go back to that restaurant? Plus I'm sure he wasn't comfortable sitting in it the whole time.

Tripartita 44

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:10

Can you really blame him, Lady Bloodshart? Last time a relative of mine crossed a descendant of the Redwater line, we ended up having to excommunicate them for fear of the toiletry related curses that befell them. I should think that your reputation would be enough to strike fear into the hearts (and bowels) of those who hope to court you.

lccc_ 18

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:36

he was probably just super embarrased.

MrZed_fml 11

Saturday 16 July 2016 9:52

I hope he gets his shit straight

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You deserved it 189