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Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42471) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

#21126684
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (4541)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anon (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (4443)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

#21123459
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40748) - you deserved it (4150)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (3541)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43652) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43227) - you deserved it (5024)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51587) - you deserved it (4523)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34973) - you deserved it (12007)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52061) - you deserved it (4707)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (6493)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)



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