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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15831) - you deserved it (1633)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (9926)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (994)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13361) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (2630)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (1589)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16373) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (1131)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15208) - you deserved it (1145)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (2029)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13085) - you deserved it (3813)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14559) - you deserved it (16027)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

#20122351
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15210) - you deserved it (1001)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:41am - animals - by Annonymous (woman) - United States



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