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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

#21077438
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (5274)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:40pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52390) - you deserved it (13345)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40314) - you deserved it (9333)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

#21073377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (4417)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37825) - you deserved it (5605)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

#21073158
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40052) - you deserved it (3360)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by SchoolFMLs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48237) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42307) - you deserved it (4039)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

#21070082
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:20am - animals - by tornkhakis - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35874) - you deserved it (2830)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

#21069128
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (7528)

On 02/23/2014 at 3:10am - animals - by dsamanthas - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML



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