Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

#7753141
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6316) - you deserved it (23491)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17410) - you deserved it (3256)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8450) - you deserved it (32212)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7358) - you deserved it (26714)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (35567)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30215) - you deserved it (3204)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

#7738687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (2514)

On 01/31/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32510) - you deserved it (12409)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (89573)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

kittiekat's comment : you are a total asshole

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

#7732713
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (43152)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22935) - you deserved it (34758)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (3543)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: