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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was babysitting my nepew. He was watcing te episode were Spongebob smases is guitar wile playing. I walk into te kitcen to make im a snack, and I ear a loud cras... My nepew smasing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

#6366811
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Gave Me An Early Wedding Present. I Opend The Box And Inside Was The Most Adorable Cat I've Ever Seen! It Got Scard, Jumpd Out, Clawd Mah Face And Pissd Everywhere. My Wedding Is Tomorrow And I Look Lyk Frankenstien's Bride. Mega FML

#6366534
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (3295)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead . FML

#6365565
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, I WAS LAUGHING AT A STORY OF A GRLHO HAD DROPPD HER CELLPHONE IN A HOTTUB AND RUIND IT. AS I WAS FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF, I THEN REALIZD THAT MY CELLPHONE WAS IN THE POCKET OF A SWEATER THAT I HAD JUST THROWN IN THE WASHER 20 MINUTES PRIOR. FML

#6365163
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (41758)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)

2DAY I DECIDED TO BEGIN JOGGING SINCE MAH WIEGHT WAS GETTING A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL AND I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT . GUESSHO TRIPPED ON A ROOT AND BROKE THIER ANKLE? YEAH . EXACTLY . FML

#6365107
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (4914)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:33am - health - by SeeTony (man) - United States (California)

2day after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich fir lunch. Reaching fir what I thought was Pam I coated mah bread with spray an putted mah sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8131) - you deserved it (27201)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to mah song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to mah face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7896) - you deserved it (35335)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I applid some things I learnd reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she startd crying an yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explaind but she doesn't believe me. FML

#6363732
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (2252)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah dad came home from Vegas. Today, mah college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

#6362142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40514) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)

2day I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth cappd. Why? Because mah room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire acros the top of the stairs. It workd. FML

#6359695
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (2082)

On 11/18/2009 at 8:30pm - health - by CB (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I Was Sitting At Lunch An Startd Choking On A Chip. I Couldn't Breathe An Nobody Trid To Help Me. Having To Take Matters Into My Own Hands, I Reachd 4 A Juice Box That Belongd To Someone Sitting Next To Me. After I Could Breathe Again, They Informd Me That They Had Mono. FML

#6358488
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (4206)

On 11/18/2009 at 7:19pm - health - by ohmigodimchokin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I Missed My Bus. I Had To Ride My Bike 2 Miles. Once I Left, Some Jerk Nerely Hit Me. I Flipped Him Off And Shouted Obsceneties. It Was My Dad, Offering Me A Ride. He Left. FML

#6357230
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7765) - you deserved it (37345)

On 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by ggbhghggg - United States (Missouri)

TODAY , MAH IPOD DROPPED OUT OF MAH POCKET WHILE I WAS WALKING !! TRYING TO BE COOL , I ATTEMPTED TO KICK IT BACK INTO THE AIR TO CATCH IT BEFORE IT HIT THE GROUND !! UPON MAKING CONTACT WITH MAH FOOT , IT ENDED UP DETACHING FROM MAH HEADPHONES AND FLYING 10 FEET !! RIGHT INTO A SEWER GRATE !! MEGA FML

#6356317
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7552) - you deserved it (62808)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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