Miscellaneous: Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I...

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 619

You deserved it 18 546

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Same thing different taste

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 1 180

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 13:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 566

You deserved it 3 063

By iams - 30/08/2018 06:00

Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 531

You deserved it 332

By koolkat9 - 22/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Albion

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 022

You deserved it 3 298

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 12:08 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 143

You deserved it 2 798

By Anonymous - 30/06/2019 14:05

Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 146

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 145

You deserved it 4 035

Hey!

By wtf dad - 10/01/2013 03:15 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 428

You deserved it 3 304

New Man

By Hrothebert - 20/03/2021 02:00

Today, my widowed mother told me she's been seeing a guy for the last 5 months. No problem. But now she insists on calling him, "New Daddy." I'm 37 and she lives across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 77

By weneedthatmoneytoliveon - 26/06/2013 14:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 152

You deserved it 3 618

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 2:45

I was going to tell you, I swear.

Hoss_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 21:11

Your life is f****d. HIS life, however, just got awesome.

Comments

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 2:45

I was going to tell you, I swear.

yankfan89 27

Friday 16 March 2012 20:38

OP better hope her mom's new boyfriend doesn't compare the two based upon performance.

gizmo92 6

Wednesday 19 June 2013 3:57

OP's name must be Stacie

bobmarkey 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 4:39

time to call loveline

livin_plur 0

Monday 6 June 2011 7:18

hahaha ^^win

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 5:57

potential threesome

omg123 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 19:15

you need to tell your mom. that is not cool. what if he becomes your stepdad?

Hoss_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 21:11

Your life is f****d. HIS life, however, just got awesome.

lil_ham1644 29

Thursday 14 August 2014 23:04

So here's to you, mrs. Robinson....

Mbpiratedude 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 10:51

This has happnened to a good friend of mine.... Are you my good friend?

necomni 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 5:21

Holy shit, awkward.

Sipos 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 1:22

Either tell her or black mail him.

KeenanQuinn 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 1:34

YES!... see about the blackmailing first tho

promblemchild 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 5:44

Was the sex good? or should your mom break up with him now?

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The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 1 706

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 596

You deserved it 3 759

The Top

Today, I have now reached the point in the financial landslide of my life that the only thing of value I have managed to hold on to is my life insurance policy, which I just manage to pay for every month. It says something that I am now actually worth more dead than alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 75

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 762

You deserved it 62 515

Today, my now-former friend explained in extreme hyperbole that the only reason Russia invaded Ukraine is because Zelensky is a zionist agent meant to make Putin and Trump look bad. He stopped taking my calls after I asked him to explain this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 156

Today, while working at a restaurant, I told an old couple that their “vibrator will go off when a table is available.” I meant to say pager. They walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 903

You deserved it 991

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 446

You deserved it 44 115

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 661

You deserved it 3 219

Same thing different taste

Bigmouth strikes again

Hey!

New Man

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