by JT / 04/12/2011 at 10:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health
CathyCraaazy's comment : Painful .. but YDI for trying to straighten your eyelashes! For FUN?
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
by BrokeAndPsst / 04/12/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
dee3108's comment : straight out dude... you seem like a very nice guy.. who just so happened to be stuck with a hardcore bitch.. dump her and find one that appreciates!
by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Alliria's comment : Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by drunkluv / 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm / Australia / Love
Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML
by bananaman / 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
by stolen / 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
by Numb / 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by shorty / 04/11/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to… Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's… Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried…