Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

#12105075
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (15419)

On 07/25/2010 at 3:31pm - misc - by ScienceFail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

#12100553
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (5574)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by girlgirlinsanity (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15047) - you deserved it (123561)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

SexiAmber1990's comment : you're a ass

See all the comments →

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (3425)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (6540)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML

#12097143
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29201) - you deserved it (5422)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by blackberrybummer (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

#12096842
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (2796)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:45am - animals - by greaaaatt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9640) - you deserved it (40520)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walk out to the living room, and tell my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He says no, and then pretends to fall asleep. FML

#12090556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (6224)

On 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous90 (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

#12090028
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (3163)

On 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm - love - by ghostyyy - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

#12088821
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7963) - you deserved it (62691)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:56pm - money - by onedollar (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (3588)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43309) - you deserved it (20308)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: