Miscellaneous: Slime

Slime

By klyoung5 - 03/01/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 396

You deserved it 4 959

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 169

You deserved it 5 964

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 8 109

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 881

You deserved it 4 112

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 171

You deserved it 4 392

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 8 580

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 19 469

By lft - 06/06/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 922

You deserved it 10 171

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 6 086

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 4 497

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 139

sarahbear430 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:13

at least he didn't notice. this FML would be way worse if it ended with you saying "he was totally grossed out"

zanguard 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:15

That does-not sound like much fun. You should have licked it clean in front of him, but not before you offered him some (be polite).

Comments

isaiaha11 2

Monday 3 January 2011 23:11

lol

lifeinhd 3

Monday 3 January 2011 23:19

Snot rocket... lol

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 3 January 2011 23:22

I was the guy sitting next to her. Oh, my God, Heather (OP), that's totally disgusting! Now I would never date you!

NuyoRicanGirl 3

Monday 3 January 2011 23:29

LMAO just say it's hair gel =p

fakeaccountX 6

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:02

Did you ever get it out? Did he ever notice? Thanks for leaving us in suspense!

sirdolittle 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:12

I know, it's killing me ! I'll never be able to sleep !!! Zzz ...

fusionss 7

Friday 12 December 2014 15:21

Shut the **** up

sarahbear430 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:13

at least he didn't notice. this FML would be way worse if it ended with you saying "he was totally grossed out"

Vanyaxe 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:17

aww that sucks OP. FYL

Sisaac 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:19

Well, FYL if he noticed. If he didn't, it is just a gross accident, no big deal.

Arschloch04 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:21

You seem like a very snotty person.

GwenBites 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 7:22

…jerk…

InBetweenDreams 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:22

Maybe he didn't notice. This would be way worse if you started talking to him with it in your hair and HE pointed it out to you.

daddy15 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:35

ydi for trying too hard.

mooshibear140 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 1:15

How was her sneezing into her arm and then trying to get the snot out after she got it in her hair "trying too hard"?

RosiePatosie 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:38

Did you get it?

laurenlovefulful 5

Monday 3 January 2011 23:47

That sucks :( at least he didnt notice!

cbranflakes 1

Tuesday 4 January 2011 3:55

haha that's what I was thinking

dani22097 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:49

you are so puny

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The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I got offered a ride to go home for the weekend. I go to college six hours away from home and haven't seen my family for almost two months. When I called my mom with the good news, she told me not to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 978

You deserved it 2 586

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 878

You deserved it 5 840

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 9 839

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 043

You deserved it 5 067

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 724

You deserved it 9 704

Today, my brand-new digital hearing aid fell out of my ear as I was walking home from the store. I've retraced my steps, but cannot find it anywhere. It cost $2000, and replacement, like the hearing aid itself, is not covered by insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 162

You deserved it 394