Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my...

By Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 403

You deserved it 6 831

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Realistic

By IBleedArbor - 16/02/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 291

You deserved it 5 024

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 7 957

Empathy

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 976

You deserved it 3 974

By sad - 30/03/2012 22:21 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 630

You deserved it 3 016

By Lisa - 19/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 5 698

Thanks

By Appelflap - 29/03/2013 22:18 - Belgium - Sint-niklaas

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 631

You deserved it 2 800

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 073

You deserved it 8 878

By daddylove - 12/06/2011 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 415

You deserved it 6 916

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 030

You deserved it 2 835

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 16:50 - Bangladesh - Dhaka

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 725

You deserved it 5 513

izzybd 20

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:48

Way to rub it in, Dad

Michael903 18

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:49

He's just jerking your chain...

Comments

izzybd 20

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:48

Way to rub it in, Dad

michaelaranda 28

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:31

Hey, OPs dad handled it better than others parents might have. when my first girlfriend broke up with me, my dad said things like good for her, she probably feels great, and son, she was probably the only hot girl you were ever gonna get, dont be mad you lost her, be happy you kept her for this long.

FMLkoala 28

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:38

#21 that should be an FML

Verota 6

Tuesday 25 February 2014 9:30

Yea, he's just trying to help. Masturbation is a cure-all.

nyctophobia 5

Wednesday 30 April 2014 22:14

wasn't funny.

randomcrazyguy 17

Sunday 5 October 2014 5:18

This is why I have no emotions

712sash 26

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:49

That must have been awkward.

ThankYouGoodbye 14

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:49

First!!!! Also, rubbing does help if you're itching.

leonchen7498 12

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:50

third**

Michael903 18

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:49

He's just jerking your chain...

cricketsins 36

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:50

Depending on your age, this could be sound advice.

TRaww21 14

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:52

I think how long they were together would be more of a factor than his age.

glabberfasted 16

Tuesday 25 February 2014 12:21

8 - I wouldn't think that would be a factor at all. You can be completely in love with someone for a long time before actually "being with" them as a couple. And someone can mean the world to you even if you've only known them a short time.

FMLcommenterer 13

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:50

Good advice.

Deverz 10

Tuesday 25 February 2014 9:38

I agree. Perfect advice

a_wiener_d0g 15

Wednesday 26 February 2014 1:19

Not bad advice

koalabear_55 11

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:58

It'll get better OP don't worry :) it hurts right now but trust me eventually you will find the girl who is perfect for you and will love you for who you are. In the mean time, try spending most of your free time with friends and family to keep your mind off of her. Good luck OP :)

The_Big_Boss 20

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:59

Why lie to him? It's a possibility he'll never find the "right" girl. Many men don't.

shyeahh_fml 19

Tuesday 25 February 2014 9:27

My "right" girl is my right hand.

rmoss78 10

Thursday 27 February 2014 1:11

@shyeahh: I'm a lefty

Gremlinek 16

Sunday 1 June 2014 15:45

Some of us just got to the point we don't care. If something comes along then it's ok but if it doesn't then there is always rubbing one off (or paid escorts).