Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (1248)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

#21224627
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14627) - you deserved it (1373) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - love - by gwengas - France (Bretagne)

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

#21224614
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (1465) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (1845)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15682) - you deserved it (2593)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17669) - you deserved it (2891)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (8333)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

mif's comment : It only works if you're Gabriel Iglesias and offering a box of Krispy Kreme.

See all the comments →

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (5545)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (2330)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (44577)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

NinjaDitto623's comment : How do you just forget that?!?!

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

UnknownUser227's comment : Sounds like she was engaged in her sleep

See all the comments →

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25690) - you deserved it (6714)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: