Today, I applied online for a position and typed, "OH&S Certificate." It autocorrected to, "OH&SHIT Certificate." I didn't notice until the site e-mailed me a copy of my completed application. They'd already received it. FML

by Damn / 12/06/2016 at 3:12pm / Work

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to have over 200 people show up at my house to celebrate my wedding anniversary with my husband. Apparently, this was his "I'm sorry" present for missing my wedding last year. FML

by a very mad sister / 12/10/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

2016/12/08
Blog

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

by Watchingmyfigure / 12/06/2016 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, it's the 11th day I've been in the hospital due to my kidneys. My mother has come in every day since to make me feel bad about missing Thanksgiving. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2016 at 12:09pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML

by lean_mean_meme_machine / 12/10/2016 at 2:07pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I attended a white elephant party at work and the box I picked had whisky and beer. Since I am a Muslim, I took it to my Christian friend's house and gave it to him. As I was walking there, I passed my imam on the street. Awkward. FML

by Miriam / 12/10/2016 at 3:44am / Holidays

Today, after dropping my phone in the toilet, I left it dismantled outside in my backyard to dry hoping it could be saved. I forgot about the phone as well as the sprinklers that were scheduled to go off. FML

by AnAngryyGiraffe / 12/05/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new drill sergeant. Let's just say I wasn't expecting him to literally bark orders. FML

On 12/10/2016 at 1:25pm
© DR

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

by TacoMan32 / 12/05/2016 at 11:26pm / Canada / Work

Today, is my first day as a student nurse. It was also the first day I learnt I was allergic to latex gloves. FML

by curiousminx / 12/05/2016 at 9:32pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

by alison89430 / 12/05/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband of 26 years that I was lonely. He asked what he could do to help. I said, "Just talk to me". Without a word, he went to sleep. FML