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Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44918) - you deserved it (1640)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

camperben's comment : That guy in prison was the sperm donor. The guy who changed your diapers and lived with you for 18 years is your Father.

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Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44432) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6702) - you deserved it (26461)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

#3014
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (15558)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by bedrockmike - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6847) - you deserved it (28286)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up at 5:15, snow blowed and salted the driveway for over an hour, left early and drove an hour on shitty roads just to get to work on time only to be laid off. FML

#2983
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (1496)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:13am - work - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (1790)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

#2972
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16016) - you deserved it (37862)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML

#2946
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20356) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by noneoftheabove - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (1850)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you deserved it (9500)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)



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