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Man or woman?

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

#8597104
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (4310)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm - health - by Stress (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

#8592124
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14948) - you deserved it (43371)

On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

#8590845
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42828) - you deserved it (6473)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

#8590514
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6863) - you deserved it (43804)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Chris Altenbach - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37779) - you deserved it (3146)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

#8588296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (2300)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (34630)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (7251)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (6517)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

#8585714
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26092) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



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