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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

#7117360
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6230) - you deserved it (44358)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (5834)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3027)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (6127)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got home to find my entire video game collection and all my consoles had been stolen. Two weeks ago I brought them back from my University accommodation, specifically to stop them from being stolen while I was at home for the Christmas holiday. FML

#7109845
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/02/2010 at 7:35pm - misc - by greatstartto2010 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

#7108098
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (5981)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

#7107063
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25891) - you deserved it (6374)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:22pm - animals - by Darling_Cherry - United States (California)

Today, I got l disconnect notices for both my water and my electric. After looking over my budget, I realized that I can only pay for one until next month. FML

#7106186
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (6917)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:27pm - money - by troubled - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (3310)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16431) - you deserved it (3831)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7966) - you deserved it (68113)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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