Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (27702)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32087) - you deserved it (25193)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML

#11541731
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16636) - you deserved it (43742)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML

#11531081
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45896) - you deserved it (6748)

On 06/29/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Alissa - United States

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

#11529694
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11027) - you deserved it (26545)

On 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm - misc - by itssdianaa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

#11528096
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34830) - you deserved it (12437)

On 06/28/2010 at 10:21pm - work - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12052) - you deserved it (70130)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

#11521879
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9780) - you deserved it (40424)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by WelcomeWagon - United States

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

#11515790
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22761) - you deserved it (47599)

On 06/28/2010 at 9:28am - work - by ladyhavery - United States (Virginia)



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