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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

#5651689
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10349) - you deserved it (30165)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

#5651382
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7995) - you deserved it (52189)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (44751)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

#5645796
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37500) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML

#5644801
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33368) - you deserved it (12743)

On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44095) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

#5642401
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49388) - you deserved it (4290)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by CapeRanger (man) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, I was running late and realized I had locked my keys in my car. Frantic, I threw a rock through the drivers side window to retrieve them, just before noticing the passenger side door was unlocked. FML

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

#5640699
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (3644)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by KmartFart - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

#5640097
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45273) - you deserved it (8536)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a letter in the postbox at my new flat which ran something along these lines of: "Hi. We're the gas company. You owe us £1,229.79 and have 7 days to pay us. Lotsa love, dated 7th September." FML

#5638823
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

#5638225
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (7111)

On 10/04/2009 at 7:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML

#5637685
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (3495)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by backtosquareone (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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