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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9043) - you deserved it (58130)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

#12212873
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15011) - you deserved it (26859)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:40pm - love - by nitroman64 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 20 year old son decided it would be funny to unbuckle my seat belt while the cops were right beside us. FML

#12212564
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (3958)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by anne (woman) - Canada

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44191) - you deserved it (3393)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband told me "The only reason I stay with you is because it's cheaper than paying child support." FML

#12203978
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41221) - you deserved it (5539)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:34am - love - by Tree (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (9860)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

#12201000
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44145) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I dropped my phone in water, and my friends told me to put it in rice to draw out the water. They put my phone in riceroni. My phone now smells like chicken and has rice seasoning stuck all over it. Needless to say it still doesn't work. FML

#12198521
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (32041)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by rosesareyellow - United States (Alabama)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15226) - you deserved it (37034)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend actually offered me $1000 to break up with him, and to move back to where my family lives 5 hours away. FML

#12195696
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39618) - you deserved it (6038)

On 07/29/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by BadGirlfriend12 (woman) - United States

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

#12188597
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49614) - you deserved it (3623)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by Richmond24 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (14453)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML

#12187825
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44094) - you deserved it (6475)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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