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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He left with the door kicked in. FML

#7405101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (2288)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

#7404915
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (3718)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

#7404884
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (2120)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML

#7401501
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (4291)

On 01/17/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by pumpkinbutt - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

#7400225
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18487) - you deserved it (30353)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by Jac (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

#7399621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (6706)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by mapleleafs34 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

#7398429
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (5940)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

#7397995
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (2024)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by russty (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

#7396804
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36372) - you deserved it (2811)

On 01/17/2010 at 11:22am - love - by anonymous (man) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (2394)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

#7396048
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (3614)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

#7395726
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43233) - you deserved it (2195)

On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29831) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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