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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got offered a ride to go home for the weekend. I go to college six hours away from home and haven't seen my family for almost two months. When I called my mom with the good news, she told me not to come. FML

#5611182
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (2158)

On 10/02/2009 at 9:01pm - misc - by wowjuststop - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

#5609665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (16475)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

#5608454
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (2885)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

#5607614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47933) - you deserved it (2391)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (66041)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

#5605552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (8009)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by nonexistant (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (2749)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

#5605398
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (3190)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

#5604597
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11722) - you deserved it (35756)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37093) - you deserved it (2910)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41146) - you deserved it (2730)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5868) - you deserved it (31889)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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