Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (3337)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (4092)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML

#13470194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33255) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/16/2010 at 9:14am - misc - by dcait_1196 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (6961)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started some laundry late at night. Once my clothes were in the washer for about a half hour, I got bored and I decided I would listen to my iPod. After looking for it for another 15 minutes, I remembered where I'd left it; in my jacket... which is now nice and clean. FML

#13469252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12676) - you deserved it (25964)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

#13468876
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34759) - you deserved it (4448)

On 10/16/2010 at 4:20am - love - by Annie - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

#13468251
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42983) - you deserved it (4055)

On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

#13467728
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (5936)

On 10/16/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by princessj - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (3120)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31962) - you deserved it (3853)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

#13466468
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44010) - you deserved it (3675)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Shooter71 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

#13465366
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34234) - you deserved it (7296)

On 10/15/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by jacky tu - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: