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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

#13794199
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22840) - you deserved it (4368)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

#13793318
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6623) - you deserved it (28272)

On 11/10/2010 at 7:26pm - work - by MrandMrsRendon20 - United States (Texas)

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

#13789947
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (14382)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30890) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

#13789712
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (2638)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:22pm - health - by khaelian (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

#13789664
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8290) - you deserved it (63474)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

#13789372
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (3732)

On 11/10/2010 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Cordoba)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (51907)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

#13788203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (2926)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52609) - you deserved it (19027)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML

Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML

#13785439
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by dcsunshine (woman) - United States (California)



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