pet_virus

Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100%
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

0%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

0%
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

43%
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

13%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

6%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

1%

The list of badges to find

Pet_virus's favorite FMLs

By leez - 01/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 046

You deserved it 1 836

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 373

You deserved it 17 292

Corny jokes

By embarrassed - 12/07/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 327

You deserved it 12 691

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 060

You deserved it 6 123

By erin3809483 - 23/05/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 865

You deserved it 50 520

erin3809483 tells us more.

erin3809483 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 20:57

umm a deadbolt on my closet because i'm home from college and my sister steals all of my clothes. also, its not a deadbolt but like one of those doorknobs that have a key lock and when you install a new doorknob there is the piece that clicks into the wall when it shuts. I installed it backwards to decided to check and make sure it was right the 2nd time and it clicked therefore, i was locked in the closet because you install the knob after that.

More

pet_virus

Consolation prize

The thumb strikes back

The return of the thumb

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

One more and it's business time

Corny jokes

erin3809483 tells us more.