MrHappybottms

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Mrhappybottms's favorite FMLs

Tonight, on Weird Parents…

By Anonymous - 10/08/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

agreeclassic 84 881

vote type 1 7 348

By whitecollar - 05/12/2012 02:43 - United Kingdom - Scarborough

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

agreeclassic 15 045

vote type 1 33 446

By Trinity - 19/11/2012 22:37 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

agreeclassic 28 474

vote type 1 2 601

By hclagopus - 14/11/2012 11:39 - Norway

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

agreeclassic 22 523

vote type 1 30 887

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Thursday 15 November 2012 10:36

OP here. I did not try to pick her up - I am a 42 year old married father of three and even if I wanted a date I have enough knowledge of the world to know that hot twentysomething blondes prefer hot twentysomething hunks - but I did try to make her smile, and failed miserably. And my geek level is so low that I read paper papers and constantly need my twelve year old son to help with my Iphone. (Plus I`ve never seen the sequels) I realize the girl probably lacked humour more than Star Wars knowledge, but what the heck. My wife laughed her ass off when I told her, though, bless her.

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

agreeclassic 32 712

vote type 1 3 941