Dov22

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31 years-old
Thursday 22 December 1994
single

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Dov22's favorite FMLs

By Why Is It Always Me - 21/02/2017 12:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, during an interview, I was given a list of items and asked which items I would take to a deserted island. When I chose a Bible, the interviewer asked why. I replied, "So I can burn it." What I meant to say was, "So I can use it to start a fire if the trees on the island bear fruit." FML

agreeclassic 5 613

vote type 1 3 219

Trevor

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my mom asked why my three-year-old son is named Trevor. After I told her it was from my favorite game, GTA V, she hit me over the head with a shoe. FML

agreeclassic 3 949

vote type 1 13 471

By Anonymous - 01/11/2016 06:25 - United States

Today, after having surgery and told not to have sex for two weeks, I've been begging my boyfriend to allow me to give him a blowjob, trying to be nice. He doesn't want to because he can't reciprocate. Not only has not having sex drove me insane, so is not being able to touch my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 12 139

vote type 1 2 001

By Myorafield - 26/10/2016 06:42 - Australia - Glenwood

Today, my sister made a comment about my small boobs. I told her I'm actually a C cup, and she told me she "can't even C them". I just got roasted with a fucking pun. FML

agreeclassic 10 720

vote type 1 1 338

By JackNicholsonInChinatown - 25/10/2016 02:58

Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML

agreeclassic 9 562

vote type 1 895