Mr Why are you reading where I'm from?, USA 29 years-old
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML
Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
