Mr Robinson, USA 44 years-old
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML
Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year-old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML
Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
