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Noname - 22/01/2009 23:27 - Canada

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

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Anonymous - 06/06/2011 23:20 - United States

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

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veggiepower11028 - 31/05/2011 12:02

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

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Anonymous - 31/05/2011 11:21

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

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Nature is healing

squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

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