Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was half asleep when my cat came over to cuddle. I was petting her in the dark when I felt what I thought was a patch of matted fur under her neck, as if she had been injured and bleeding. Alarmed, I felt for that spot again and found myself holding her tail. What I'd felt was in fact my cat's anus. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
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Top comments
Incubuss 0
Oh yeah FYL.. more like **** your cats life.
ama17 0
Oh god... that's disgusting!! FML for sure. Hope your cat's okay
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Comments (129)
samiams00 0
Didn't know what this meant until I googled it lol. FYL
quirinus 0
you are far-sighted and you were reading without glasses? >.>
Conkers 0
He's Swedish so I am guessing English was not his first language, I'm guessing it's probably pretty easy to muddle up the words 'Near' and 'Far' in a language that's not your first one.
RufusCade 7
Maybe it was a book with large letters?
Penetration 0
I'd be completely willing to guess that this is a fake.
penecow290 3
Why would it be fake? It is called a tapeworm they can be serious if not treated. I suggest either going to the vet or buying a pill online.
THEoliveira 0
lmfao nice
mackenzie2323 5
you don't even have to do that, just go to te store and buy the meds
jadetothes 0
Lovely...
ama17 0
Oh god... that's disgusting!! FML for sure. Hope your cat's okay
teotsi 28
FYL*
go64 0
Looks like your cat had a busy night XD
wingedspiritus 0
This FML has horrible grammar... Still, how nasty that was. D: I don't even want to picture it... ._.
ChurchofFagenism 0
be fair, the OP appears to be Swedish, I'm going to assume English is not their first language
jmeg_fml 0
i swear, as soon as someone notices the OP isn't from the US, american readers automatically assume the grammar is horrible. the grammar in this FML is completely fine. **** off, you bunch of xenophobes.
the_stereotype 0
well, it's supposed to be near-sighted instead of far. that's what everyone is talking about.
ptrefftz 0
jmeg, the grammar actually is horrible, It should be 'lying' instead of 'laying'.
wingedspiritus 0
@79: Um, excuse me? Nice way of owning yourself, by thinking I'm from the United States. Stop assuming things. I'm Mexican, by the way. (Who was born and lives in Mexico, in case you bring up more nonsense.) So yeah, whatever floats your boat.
Fontario4 2
They apparently changed it to near, but had it right the first time, if they were near sighted that means they can see what's close to them, i'm assuming the cat was close to them, which means they are far sighted, they can see far but not close up, why are you all getting this mixed up?
ptrefftz 0
someone edited the post. Before it said 'laying' instead of lying and 'far sighted' instead of 'near sighted'.
EffYoLife 14
you are a loser for focusing on the grammar of this post! its not an its not an English grammar website..the grammar is fine enough! You look like a huge dork for that! Anyhoo..op? I think your cat has worms! lmao..gross
wingedspiritus 0
Eh? I was not. I just pointed it out and continued typing about the FML. You must be mistaking the loser here. -____-; Oh well.. Why should I even care what returded people say anyway~
bebz_fml 0
the guy mixed up a couple of words, BIG WOOP. get over it
otumboo 10
Beware! The Nazi grammar corrector is here
Maxine17 8
NASTY! D:
Incubuss 0
Oh yeah FYL.. more like **** your cats life.
the_stereotype 0
exactly. you just touched the worm...meanwhile the worm is living inside your cat and feeding off your cat's insides. oh, and not to mention, your cat has probably already touched it considering they lick themselves clean. wasn't that a pretty vivid image?
kurohana_fml 0
I call BS. Reading in bed? Nearsighted and didn't have your glasses on? And couldn't see what was hanging out of you cat's butt when it was sitting on your chest? If it's true, you deserved it.
Maxine17 8
I'm near sighted too. (Y)
EmoKidsFail 0
He said he was farsighted. if he couldn't see the cat which i assume was further away than the book, then i don't know how he could see the book.
time4coffee 3
Says nearsighted now, I was wondering what the fuss was
MetallicaRules19 4
hey i was born in 95 and love metallica too, i couldnt fit the 95 on the end of my name tho
wannabesinger 16
At least it's an easy fix. Go to your vet and they'll give you some deworming medication and the cat will be just fine
perdix 31
It wasn't wiggling -- it was waving! Hi, daddy!
LivenLife 0
!LOL! I dont think I can feel anymore disgust after reading that now all there is is giggles.