Today, I was ordering food at McDonald's when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
I'm assuming it fell out of your wallet. YDI for that. A wallet is a terrible place to keep condoms.
sanem0808238036 0
FYL ....looks like life already ****** you with that condom
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Comments (73)
ItsAshxD 0
Haha.
Starchild21 3
Lol hey your friend might have a point haha __________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
AlexZB 0
it's called "taking a joke"
aresgirl 0
its called " mabye you should get laid"
amarshboy1212 0
why would you be carrying a condom in the first place??
ImFatAndLonleyFM 0
YDI for keeping a condom in your wallet. Only self absorbed wanna be macho men do that. you're not getting laid at the bank, so WTF?
mich23 10
That made me ROFL
allmidnighteyes 11
I'm assuming it fell out of your wallet. YDI for that. A wallet is a terrible place to keep condoms.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Yupp, warms up, cools down, warms up, cools down, etc. It will now break IF you ever use it. Didn't anyone ever teacher you that?
a34111 0
teacher? nice grammer douche
Starchild21 3
We all make spelling or sentence structure mistakes, including you. Grammer? I believe you mean "grammar" dumbass ___________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
brunomars09 3
teacher? hahahah lmao cx
Armin_fml 0
Well. she did give you a clear hint.
Clitastrophe 0
Hinting that you wanted to get down and dirty with the lass who hands out Happy Meals. were you? Naughty, naughty! But YDI for thinking you could eat the McSponges.
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, I'd bet he'd give her his Big N Tasty with Cheese. Maybe finish off with some creamy ranch sauce, or better yet, Tangy Honey Mustard Sauce.
drm316 0
GIVE'R THE BIG MAC!! lol
sanem0808238036 0
FYL ....looks like life already ****** you with that condom
alex_mu 0
& thats what friends are for!
perdix 31
You should zip up if you insist on wearing a condom all day just to prevent screw-ups like this. And unless you walk around all day with a boner, it's going to have a tendency to shift around a bit, and you never know where it's going to end up. You should really keep it in its wrapper until usage for its designed purpose is imminent, which means, according to your friend, forever. It's not a funny rubber stocking cap for your penis, y'know.
icecreamthoughts 0
Was that a joke?
perdix 31
Yes. Now that you know that I am kidding, I hope you can unclench your sphincter and have a nice laugh.
perdix 31
Mercy, if you're into tongue-in-cheek, you have a good chance of finding a sphincter.
archae_fml 0
If you've a condom in your wallet long enough to refer to it as "my condom" - you don't need to be carrying a condom around, you won't be needing it.
Vaetrus 0
You're telling me you don't name all your condoms? Then how do you know who got to visit Allison and who got trashed in the motel with Melody?
AcesAndEights 0
lol
LegndNikko 0
Can't take a joke?