Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML
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Top comments
gaby904 0
**** that guys life... jeez, that must've been awkward
urlifeisraped 0
Haha ur such a doosh
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Comments (145)
urlifeisraped 0
Haha ur such a doosh
jakkanarchy 0
seriously. pressumptuous dick.
jonathanhand 0
you spelled douche wrong bro
countingstairs 16
#138 No shit, bro
gaby904 0
**** that guys life... jeez, that must've been awkward
ThisRandomChild 0
Yeah, poor guy
patebishop 7
Was that pun intended or not?
Dustin_H 0
If he smelled bad anyone could have mistaken. No probs
Xero3g 5
You should live in Detroit. You'd never make that mistake. Here, everyone's homeless. Or at least begging for change.
hillcitygirl 0
That's just wrong.
vt_mruhlin 0
It's a risk you had to take. When I worked downtown I developed an uncanny ability to put on my ipod and zone out anybody and everybody who tried to talk to me.
DizzyDemon0 9
Hahaha. Don't dress like some scrub then!
bratray 0
Dork!
fortytwo 0
Should've said "It's time for you to take a shower!"
TriNiBaByDoLL 0
Awkward & embarassing...bet he wanted 2 beat da crap outta u...I know I would lol