Miscellaneous: Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man....

Mofisto 15 February 2009, 10:43 United States

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

129 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 16 April 2009, 00:13 United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

136 comments

Anonymous 15 May 2022, 12:00 Fraiburgo, Brazil

Mistaken identity

Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML

2 comments

Anonymous 5 September 2015, 04:58 Latrobe, United States

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

47 comments

Jeff 25 August 2009, 17:09 United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

242 comments

ThatEndedWell 8 January 2019, 04:00 Staten Island, United States

MMA FML

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

25 comments

Anonymous 24 October 2012, 10:51 Croydon, Australia

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

106 comments

John 30 June 2012, 05:08 Watertown, United States

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

94 comments

Anonymous 19 October 2022, 22:00

No means no

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

4 comments

Anonymous 27 September 2009, 04:10 Canada

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

70 comments

Noname 18 March 2009, 01:24 United States

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

299 comments

Arbosis 0

16 February 2009, 05:08

wtf why where you in a lesbian bar?

that_one_guy 0

15 February 2009, 15:54

I bet he was doing the highly credited and validated attack plan of "scoping out for bis." Of course I'm kidding about highly credited and validated bit but never the less. And I wouldn't worry to much about you loosing the fight, unless some mates saw it happen, some of those women can be pretty fierce.