The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Ryan · 7 February 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Effed around, found out

Today, the woman I left my wife for says she doesn’t wanna date me because she "sees me as a best friend” and “You just got divorced, it’s kinda awkward.” I caught feelings for this woman, tried to fight it for months and finally caved in, only to be told she sees me as a platonic friend. My wife won’t take me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 You deserved it 2 300

16 comments Share

Anonymous · 26 November 2024, 22:00 ·Maryland Heights, United States

Second class citizen

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that he won’t let me meet his family. He sarcastically replied, “What, you mean my wife and kids? You’re a mistress, remember? You don’t get to meet my family.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 You deserved it 1 513

6 comments Share

lukey101 · 11 January 2025, 20:00 ·Australia

Luscious locks

Today, I discovered that I bought two shampoos instead of a shampoo and conditioner. So for the past three months, I’ve been washing my hair twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 You deserved it 490

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 7 September 2026, 15:00 ·San Francisco, United States

The war on pickles

Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 You deserved it 298

2 comments Share

Rerere · 24 February 2025, 03:00 ·Australia

"Your text here"

Today, I gave my friend what I thought was the perfect birthday gift, a personalized mug with her favourite quote. When she opened it, she looked confused so I explained. Then she said, "I’ve never ever said that." I realized I'd printed a quote from a completely different friend. I awkwardly told her, “Well, now you have something new to say!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 608

1 comment Share

Flop era · 4 October 2024, 00:00 ·Fort Lauderdale, United States

Flop

Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 526

1 comment Share

Left out · 26 August 2025, 03:00 ·Warsaw, Poland

Basic private equity tactic

Today, the guy I picked on in high school got his revenge. He bought out my dad's car shop above market value and then closed it. My dad doesn't care, he gets to retire early, while I get to watch something I'd hoped to inherit get torn down and sold off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 1 043

8 comments Share

Simon E · 2 December 2023, 22:00 ·Wellington, New Zealand

Doggy dog world

Today, I was in a Teams call with my work team, and I was getting really annoyed at a woman in the team just waffling on about nothing, I yelled, "Just shut up you fat pig, shut up!", not knowing my mic was unmuted, I had to lie, saying I was yelling at my dog for barking. Not sure anyone believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 1 110

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 25 July 2025, 09:00 ·United States

How does this keep happening?

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 802

3 comments Share

Paint on fire · 23 February 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Take the L, dude

Today, I found out the girl I’ve spent so much time bending over backwards for lied about having to work on Valentine’s. She went on a date with another guy instead. Furious, I went to Lowe’s and bought red paint to douse on her car. I cut my hand and had to get stitches trying to open the case. I can never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 1 347

8 comments Share

Gwen · 1 August 2025, 20:00 ·Kolomna, Russia 🌶️ Spicy

So, when a man loves a woman…

Today, I'm really puzzled about explaining what he saw to our 6-year old. So, he walked in on us mid-sex, which itself would be barely acceptable if there were only the two of us, his married parents, but actually a dead drunk threesome between my husband, his best male friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 659

4 comments Share

Craigsux · 13 May 2025, 12:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

One off

Today, my ex told me she got pregnant from when I was comforting her when her mother died. We were still friends, so I went to her house and held her while she cried. One thing led to another and we began fucking like rabbits. I was gonna propose to my girlfriend next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 1 434

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 3 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

That's one expensive hat

Today, I went off-roading with a group of people. I'd been to wearing a $250 hat while my brother was driving at least 60mph in the dirt, it flew off my head. When I returned to go retrieve it, someone had taken it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 989

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 22 August 2025, 22:00

All kinds of wrong

Today, after my boyfriend ghosted me when he learned I was pregnant, I stormed to his house to tell his wife about us to get back at him. Turns out he gave me a fake address, because the cops were called on me after I screamed at some random woman who lived there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 1 040

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 16 November 2025, 00:00

OK then…

Today, in a grocery store, the cashier asked if we found everything OK. Before I could answer, my kid said, “Mom says the shop smells like poor people.” I don’t even remember saying that, but judging by the cashier’s face it must be a family business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 446

0 comment Share

Billy · 6 July 2026, 15:00 ·New York, United States

Point taken

Today, after a nasty argument about the "necessity" of cars, I accepted a challenge to move a washing machine with a bicycle trailer. I got it loaded on, then started off down the street. The first time I tried to stop, I ran into a ditch with the washing machine falling on top of me. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 706

3 comments Share

Douglas · 18 July 2026, 20:00 ·Melboune, Australia

Master the blade

Today, I tried to be helpful at a family dinner and offered to carve the roast. The knife slipped, the serving tray tipped. My uncle caught it with his bare hand like a movie hero. Everyone praised him for dinner-saving reflexes while I quietly sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 313

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 19 February 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Socially inept

Today, I went to a grocery store and tried one of those free samples of a new type of cheese. When I went to throw the toothpick away, I dropped it in a large container of olive oil. Not realizing it was a “special” display, I casually tried to scoop out the toothpick with my hand... only to get shooed away by an employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 578

0 comment Share

Not a thief!! · 11 January 2026, 22:00

Nice try

Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 546

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 5 September 2024, 20:00 ·Maryland Heights, United States

Build your own

Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 1 903

13 comments Share

Anonymous · 30 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

America's got talent

Today, I connected my phone to my car’s Bluetooth to listen to music. I didn’t realize my playlist had shuffled onto an old voice memo where I'd drunkenly recorded myself singing a heartfelt love song about pizza. It played as my boss got in for our carpool to a conference. I had to sit through the drive while she hummed along to “Cheese, you complete me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 430

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 14 December 2025, 09:00

Obviously

Today, I confidently told a coworker that the “surprise meeting” was obviously a birthday celebration for our boss. I even brought cupcakes. Turns out, it was a serious budget discussion. My boss stared at the cupcakes like I was making fun of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 427

1 comment Share

ANT-BOOGIE · 16 September 2023, 20:00

Use your imagination

Today, my boss emailed everyone in the company, thanking us for record sales. As a result, all of us are getting bonuses. The staff responded with how thankful they were. I chimed in, using A.I.'s Chat GPT. It was perfect. My boss responded, "Did you just use Chat GPT?" then put me on blast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 1 246

3 comments Share

Awkward Nelson · 7 January 2025, 20:00 ·Sydney, Australia

Floundering off

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit from a party after an argument by dramatically throwing my coat over my shoulder and storming out. The coat got caught on the door handle, and I had to awkwardly untangle myself while everyone stared. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 604

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 24 May 2025, 22:00 ·London, United Kingdom

Tracking

Today, I bought a GPS collar for my adventurous cat. After setting it up and being very curious about what he gets up to when I'm not home, I opened the app and saw his current location marked as “Inside your house.” All day. Groundbreaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 412

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 28 February 2024, 12:00 ·Maryland Heights, United States

Read the room

Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 1 323

7 comments Share

Anonymous · 25 August 2024, 16:00 ·Bristol, United Kingdom

Kevin REALIZES he's LITERALLY not going home [GRAPHIC]

Today, I carpooled with my boss for the first time. To avoid any small talk, which makes me really anxious, I turned on my Spotify. Unfortunately, I forgot I'd been listening to a true crime podcast the night before. We spent the next 15 minutes listening to a gruesome murder description before I realized it. My boss looked horrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 537

1 comment Share

Sypha · 28 November 2025, 09:00

Where's Daddy?

Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 587

4 comments Share

Haley · 3 July 2025, 15:00 ·Halifax, Canada

Never say never

Today, I’ve become obsessed with Fortnite, like, all I think about is Fortnite. Since Fortnite came out, I'd always said, “That’s such a bad game, it’s so stupid, I’m never playing that.” Now, it’s June 2025, I only started playing in March of this year, and I’ve even become better than my boyfriend who’s been playing for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 465

0 comment Share

Dean · 23 July 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Fumbled

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 1 719

5 comments Share