The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

No ragrets

By Isabel - 19/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I showed my new tattoo to my friends. It's supposed to be a deep, philosophical quote in Latin, symbolizing strength and resilience. My friend, who happens to be fluent in Latin, started laughing hysterically. Turns out, it actually says, "You are dumb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 703

What is this?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I sent my ex nudes and then asked him if he saved them, only for him to reply with, "Nah, they weren't nude enough." Mind you, he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 413

Old timey

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 751

My greatest party trick [DEROGATORY]

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 558

Can't handle my drinks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 00:00 - Philippines - San Jose del Monte

Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 771

Don't hate the player…

By Bugggo - 19/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girl bestie, who I secretly have a crush on, sent me a screenshot of my girlfriend tagging me on a Facebook post, saying, “So when were you planning on telling me you have a girlfriend?” I fucking told my girlfriend not to tag me on shit in social media but she did it anyway. Now my bestie won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 642

No situational awareness

By Anonymous - 15/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to take a cute selfie in front of a café window. I didn’t realize there were people inside, specifically the café staff, who were watching see me posing, pouting, and flipping my hair for a full two minutes. When I finally realised they were there, they gave me the thumbs up while imitating my poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 778

Never do this

By anon - 06/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Danbury

Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 804

Lost in film

By bad movie - 05/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I got to the movie theater early to avoid missing the previews. I sat through 20 minutes of trailers before realizing I was in the wrong auditorium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 357

Not very neighborly

By Kris - 31/01/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 505

Can't take my eyes off you

By Pauly - 26/12/2025 22:00

Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 506

Check where you're posting

By Lauren - 18/01/2026 09:00

Today, I typed a vulnerable “I miss you” text to my ex at 1 a.m., stared at it, and meant to delete it. Instead I hit send… to our old family group chat, which still had his mother and my aunt in it. My phone blew up with dumb sympathy, a single eggplant emoji from my cousin, and a lecture from his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 497

Tech support starts at home

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent 10 minutes on the phone with tech support before realizing my “broken” printer was unplugged behind the desk and had been the whole time. The agent waited in silence as I was checking, but I was too embarrassed to tell him, so I hung up the phone in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 400

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to sneak home from work 15 minutes early. I kept Teams open on my phone to remain “active”, but in doing so, accidentally group-video-called my whole team while walking out at 4:45pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 696

Wrong place, wrong time

By Julia86 - 20/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I got to work early to set up a prank for my coworker Cathy. I wrapped everything on her desk in aluminum foil, including individual paperclips. As I finished, my boss walked in, pointed at the desk, and said, "Great work, but that's John’s desk. He’s out sick today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 717

My love language is gibberish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 381

Sexy talk

By Cora - 06/08/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I got in bed with my guy to have sex with him to distract myself from having diarrhea, when my gut cramped, my butt pushed, and I then doubled over from that as I yelled, "Why must I go doo-day right now?" I don't know what's more embarrassing, that I shit my bed before sex, or I called diarrhea "going doo-dah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 345

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 014

Insecure

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I came home to a huge man cleaning my kitchen. I demanded to know who the hell he was and It turned out that he’s the “maid” my wife hired after I told her that if she wanted help cleaning the house, then we could just hire some. His name is Ted and she’s refusing to get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 730

Roadside blues

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 00:00 - France - Marseille

Today, I locked myself out of my car while the engine was running. I called roadside assistance, waited 40 minutes, then watched a stranger walk past, point at the unlocked passenger door, and open it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 382

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I sent a screenshot of my ex’s new partner to my best friend with a caption saying, “She looks like a melted candle.” Of course, I sent it directly to my ex. He replied with, “She’s right next to me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 634

Skin deep

By John D - 01/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw a friend’s Instagram post. She's lost so much weight since the last time I saw her, so I slid in her DMs hoping to score a date. It was going quite well until I asked her out and she responded, “You’re only asking me out because I’m skinny now, right? You’re barking up the wrong tree” and she blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 398

Wankers!

By Whoops - 28/06/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 212

Student becomes the Master

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my kids off for some misbehaviour when my wife chimed in that in all honestly, they were just behaving like I do most days. I had zero defence to that because it’s true. I've now got a wife and three kids who won’t stop mocking me FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 553

Wrong move

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 12:00

Today, I told a coworker, “You look way better without makeup.” She responded, “I’m wearing makeup.” Everyone around us gasped like I had just said "fuck" in church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 665

Keep it professional

By Heather and her dog - 30/03/2026 22:00

Today, during an important Zoom meeting, I insisted my dog was calm and well-behaved. To prove it, I picked him up. He immediately sneezed directly into my open mouth while my camera was on and my boss was speaking. Everyone saw and heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 490

Karma wins again

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, as I was sitting at a bus stop, I spilled Pepsi on my shirt while texting my friend about how clumsy people are, after seeing someone walk into a trash can. Irony isn’t dead, but my dignity is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 579

AITA? Yes.

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, after sharing my library app account with my sister for years, out of revenge for sleeping with her boyfriend, she removed the holds on all the books and audios I’ve been waiting months for. It could be half a year before I get any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 2 403

Rageposting

By Fxchi - 04/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I saw that the girl who used to sleep with everyone in high school got engaged. I commented on her post, “How did a girl who was easier to get into than community college get a ring?” She replied, “Because I kept my body in shape, unlike you, have a quality day!” Her comment got 43 likes. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 2 025

Blown my cover

By Anonymous - 05/11/2023 18:00 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo Este

Today, I thought it would be interesting to flirt with a colleague from work via WhatsApp, I just forgot that my WhatsApp Web was open when I plugged the HDMI to the screen. The colleague is the director of the company, and 300 coworkers read the entire conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 075

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 698

You deserved it 1 656

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 001

You deserved it 5 902

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 556

You deserved it 3 562

Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 833

You deserved it 23 624

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 644

You deserved it 517

Today, somebody parked an old truck with "FDIC" stickers on the sides in front of the bank I work at. I've been dealing with panicked customers all day, my manager says that the whole bank is at risk, and we can't find who parked the truck there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 126