The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

death to bees · 13 April 2025, 09:00 ·New York, United States

A freak out for all to bee

Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 880

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UBER KAREN MODE · 3 October 2025, 09:00

Good chat

Today, I joined what I thought was my weekly team meeting on Zoom. I launched into a rant about our broken coffee machine, which I've been asking for weeks for it to be fixed, before someone interrupted with, “Erm, this is a parent-teacher conference.” I don’t even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 442

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Anonymous · 23 August 2024, 06:00 ·Trenton, United States

Weird flex, but okay…

Today, I went through a fast-food drive-thru and gave my order in a perfect British accent for fun. When I got to the window, the cashier handed me my food and said, "I love your accent!" Caught off guard, I replied, "Oh, thanks a lot!" in my normal New Jersey accent. The confusion on her face was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 558

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Bad open mic night · 25 September 2025, 00:00

Boo! Get better jokes!

Today, I thought I was alone in the breakroom, so as I reheated my lunch, I started practicing my stand-up comedy routine out loud. I was halfway through a joke about constipation when the vending machine guy poked his head out from behind the vending machine he was restocking and said, “Don’t quit your day job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 430

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Anonymous · 29 August 2024, 16:00 ·Claymont, United States

In space no one can hear you fart

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 668

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What do I do? · 17 January 2026, 09:00

Help wanted

Today, my husband dropped a bombshell when he served me divorce papers and a set of tests proving that our sons (7 and 9 years-old) are not his. I'm alone at home, scared shitless, and my poor kids don't understand where their dad is. I can't take them to their bio dad, since he died four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 1 472

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Stefan · 19 April 2025, 09:00 ·Zurich, Switzerland

Shut up and play the hits

Today, I asked my 10 year-old guitar student why Good Friday is a holiday. He answered, "We remember Jesus Christ's crucifixion. Isn't it sad to kind of celebrate someone's death? Well, I don't care, I just enjoy the free holiday and I don't believe in magic anyway!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 575

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Another clue · 28 August 2026, 12:00 ·Dundee, United Kingdom

Falconhoof

Today, after months of wondering what a mysterious key I found in an old kitchen drawer unlocked, I finally discovered it fit the lock on a storage unit. I opened it and found a box containing three other keys I had also forgotten about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 288

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Anonymous · 8 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Social media etiquette

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 530

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Anonymous · 24 February 2026, 09:00

Cynically poisoned

Today, I rejected my crush's prom proposal because I didn't think he was being serious and wanted to prank me or something. Turns out he was serious but now he's going with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 767

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Anonymous · 25 November 2025, 03:00

Smash the patriarchy

Today, I explained to my teenage daughter that enough was enough and she needed to start shaving her armpits again, stating it was unladylike and unsanitary. Her only response was, "If it's so unsanitary, why don't you make my brother do it?" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 1 262

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Unsuccessful Prankster · 13 June 2023, 15:00 ·Steele, United States

So frustrating!

Today, I got those stickers that say "Voice Activated; Say Loudly: PAPER TOWEL NOW!" I then placed one in a public bathroom and waited in the stall to hear someone yell the phrase. I waited for thirty minutes and heard the machine go off several times, with no shouting at all. In other words, no one fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 1 643

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Anonymous · 21 August 2025, 09:00 ·Queens, United States

Erm, OK?

Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 440

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Anonymous · 21 July 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Guess that's a "No thanks" then

Today, I tracked down my long-lost daughter after losing her to foster care 26 years ago when I was on drugs. I knocked on her door and introduced myself, going in for a hug. She maced me and physically kicked me back into the hall, threatening a restraining order if I ever spoke to her again, and slammed the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 918

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Annageewhiz34 · 24 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Anger management classes going well?

Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 1 101

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Anonymous · 5 July 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Context

Today, I found out that a old friend of mine and her man broke up because he cheated on her. For context, we stopped being friends after he came onto me after a night at a bar, and we semi-hooked up. I'm also a gay man. Should I reach out? FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 553

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Anonymous · 8 August 2024, 22:00 ·Topanga, United States

Mom moment

Today, I thought it would be funny to bust out some dance moves in the middle of the supermarket to embarrass my teenage daughter. As I was trying to the moonwalk, I slipped on a wet spot and crashed into a stack of cereal boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 762

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Clare99 · 17 August 2026, 03:00 ·Sheffield, United Kingdom

Slightly intoxicated

Today, drunk, I tried to sneak quietly into my flat at 2 a.m. so I wouldn't wake anyone up. I stepped on the one squeaky floorboard, dropped my keys, kicked my left shoe into a door, and somehow knocked a framed picture off the wall. My flatmate texted me from her bed, “You OK out there?” FM

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 351

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Anonymous · 24 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

A bit of an overreaction

Today, I found out that the reason my ex-fiance didn't visit me in the hospital after my accident, which I dumped him for, was because the hospital wouldn't let him in because he wasn't family. He's blocked my number, returned the ring and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 732

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LieutenantDimwit · 11 August 2026, 12:00 ·Giza, Egypt

Memorable challenge

Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 336

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Mano steel · 3 October 2024, 22:00 ·Glendale, United States

Pleased to meet you

Today, I arrived for a job interview and I wanted to give a firm handshake to make a good impression, because apparently that's a thing. I squeezed the interviewer's hand so hard I heard a "crack" and they winced in pain. I'm never taking advice from a random LinkedIn post ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 702

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Sarah · 11 February 2025, 09:00 ·Austin, United States

Read the room

Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 637

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Anonymous · 8 January 2026, 20:00

Control freak

Today, I told my girl to go upstairs and change her shorts to pants since my friends were over watching the game. She came back down wearing even shorter booty shorts and a tube top. I was so pissed, I couldn’t even enjoy the match, and I know my friends are never gonna let me live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 1 328

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Anonymous · 3 June 2026, 20:00 ·Dallas, United States

Tipping culture wars

Today, during a first date, we discovered we had complete opposite views on tipping. Neither of us wanted to back down, so we spent an hour debating economics instead of getting to know each other. At the end, the server thanked us for the entertainment and asked if we'd be coming back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 402

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Anonymous · 14 November 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Don't believe the hype

Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 518

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Vlogfail · 7 June 2025, 12:00 ·Germany

Animal island adventures

Today, I wanted to actively post and vlog my travels, so I started with my trip to an "Animal island" nearby. My first words on the vlog were, "Animal island is an island near the city which has animals." My husband literally rolf-ed hearing that. Why can't I speak normally!? FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 488

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Lost Reggie · 3 July 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Sharing is caring

Today, my generosity towards friends, family, artists, Patreon, and Twitch streamers has left me on the brink of financial instability. I was counting on ROI to keep helping others, but now I need to set firm boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 755

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Anonymous · 5 February 2025, 03:00 ·Liverpool, United Kingdom

Basic night out

Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 665

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Annette · 11 June 2024, 00:00 ·Australia

Good work!

Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 759

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Duped · 6 January 2026, 15:00

I'm fine, I swear

Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 358

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