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By unlucky - 08/10/2012 16:39 - United States - Alpena

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 361

You deserved it 4 144

By Brotherssuckkk - 18/01/2010 20:04 - France

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 196

You deserved it 4 817

By exiledliscense - 09/11/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 167

You deserved it 5 896

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 13:23 - Canada

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 3 763

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 18:22 - United Kingdom - Wokingham

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 855

You deserved it 10 251

Weird assumption

By writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 095

You deserved it 6 326

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 08:01

Today, I stopped by McDonald's with my brother. I asked him what he wanted and I repeated his order. The lady said, "We don't have that here." I stupidly answered, "That's weird. We have it where I come from," and she replied, "Where did you come from honey, 1995?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 579

Young at heart

By If IQs could be negative... - 26/12/2014 19:28 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 650

You deserved it 5 737

Self serving

By PartTimePrincess - 10/09/2013 14:56 - United States

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to skydive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 242

You deserved it 4 167

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, I found out I'm getting laid off. However, they're keeping my coworker who rarely shows up and sleeps all the time when he's there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 130

You deserved it 2 455

Good boy

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 07:58

Today, I don’t ask much, just a bit of peace and my armchair, but now I don’t get either since my wife rescued a pitbull that weighs 8 stone, barks constantly and hates me. The first night it was here, it sat on my chair and bit me when I tried to move it, then overnight tore my chair to bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 207

By fired - 04/11/2011 04:04 - Australia

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 947

You deserved it 2 679

By Lackadaisical - 15/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 244

You deserved it 35 689

By Karim - 12/12/2012 05:29 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 533

You deserved it 3 212

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 03:58 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 2 651

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 372

You deserved it 2 609

New relations

By Pat - 22/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 147

The price of partying

By Rafael - 06/12/2021 17:01

Today, and since I went to a club with a few friends for the first time two days ago, I now have tinnitus, which still persists and I'm worried it might be permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 264

Congratulations

By NeedToGetLaid - 01/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 373

On the move

By bluefrisky - 29/09/2012 07:39 - Canada - Toronto

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 089

You deserved it 3 399

Oh, hello!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to go meet my new upstairs neighbor, only to find out nobody actually moved in. The noises that have been coming from up there were made by rats. Lots of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 2 430

By DaddyZ - 27/06/2010 13:30 - United States

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 222

You deserved it 8 272

By bleurghh - 31/12/2010 15:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 897

You deserved it 8 862

By Alright. - 24/09/2012 08:15 - United States - Missoula

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 188

You deserved it 2 098

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 230

You deserved it 2 598

By VAngelique - 10/01/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 599

You deserved it 4 144

VAngelique tells us more.

VAngelique 0

Monday 11 January 2010 23:16

Yea I did...

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 38

By mylifesucks - 30/08/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 890

You deserved it 8 412

Sit Up Struggles

By FML Videos - 24/10/2018 00:30

Too relatable.

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 59

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 1 570

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The Top

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 156

You deserved it 3 074

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 999

You deserved it 4 132

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 798

You deserved it 3 218

Today, my niece asked why my veins were so close to my skin. She was referring to my stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 183

Today, I accidentally deleted an audio file for my first professional video project. Impossible to do a retake, because the production budget was so tight. The audio from the camera sounds bad and file recovery program still can't help. Also, the deadline is this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 598

Today, I found out that my husband wasn’t at “work” like he said he was. He'd told me he couldn’t come to my Master degree graduation because he was called into “work” last minute. I guess “work” is code word for the “movie theatre” watching Spider-Man with an unidentified female person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 148