Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML
Today, I found out the little blue thing that my roommate has been sterilizing by boiling in our shared coffee maker, is a menstrual cup. FML
Today, I walked in on my dog slurping my coffee. I'm not sure how long we have been sharing my morning cup of joe. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML
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Top comments
coius 23
Better luck than me. My wife took a pregnancy test in one of mine and set it next to my coffee mug. I ended up drinking her pee not realizing she did it. I think i vomited for 4 hours straight. From just one sip.
RichardPencil 32
🎶The best part of waking up Is urine in your cup! 🎵
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
🎶The best part of waking up Is urine in your cup! 🎵
lev 11
how long were you in the bathroom?
JackWood 21
She is trying to tell you that you're hogging the bathroom.
coius 23
Better luck than me. My wife took a pregnancy test in one of mine and set it next to my coffee mug. I ended up drinking her pee not realizing she did it. I think i vomited for 4 hours straight. From just one sip.
Kristen Bauer 14
Pee is sterile if that makes you feel better
BatCatTaco 13
No, no it is NOT....
Sady_Ct 38
Only when it first comes out, the moment it touches anything it picks up the bacteria and germs.
coius 23
It tastes so nasty and it will make your stomach wretch. Should I add she had a UTI at the time too? Because she did!
tounces7 28
Guess you shouldn't spend so damn long in the bathroom then.
diraven 15
Ask her for cream and sugar
Tom O'Halloran 9
urine is sterile. rinse it out, fill with coffee and drink it while you put your big boy panties on. sheesh!!