sourgirl101
Wanker
Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
BigMoney
United States
Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML
steveinnewsoh
United States
Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML
AJShow80
United States
Today, I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money, saying it was collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then used his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and won 500 dollars. The jackass wouldn't split it. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
SwingingChili
Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident he'll win every time. FML
loss.jpg
Seattle, United States
Poker face at all times
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
greenhide8
United States
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
totallyembarassed
Charlotte, United States
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Sudokori
A Dog's Love = Priceless
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Anonymous
Bainbridge Island, United States
No cash for you
Today, I drove 3 hours to the Capitol and back to cash my winning scratch ticket of $2000. When I got there, it was pointed out to me that it wasn't in fact a winning ticket. I'd already planned a weekend vacation at an adventure park the next state over. I’m flat broke and rent is due. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Well, the going rate for jackoffs is $20, so for $10, you can only get a half of a jackoff, which is worse than not having any!
spinningrecords 14
What were you thinking?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
spinningrecords 14
What were you thinking?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
If you didn't win jackoffs sounds about right.
RichardPencil 32
Well, the going rate for jackoffs is $20, so for $10, you can only get a half of a jackoff, which is worse than not having any!
tiptoppc 21
Knowing that is always handy!
Wadlaen 24
What did you get?😅
tiptoppc 21
Jackoffs are around the back, at the bathroom, and smoking.