Today, my mom forced me to take a drug test while she watched. I couldn’t do it due to nerves, so she grounded me because, "there's no way I would be nervous unless I was doing drugs." Nope, just a shy bladder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML
Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
Since your mom wants to have your pee so much, you should give her a bottle every time you manage to pee. Make sure you remind her that it's because she asked you to perform a drug test. Loudly.
Chazzster 32
Ugh, I can see some of both sides on this one. Usually, but admittedly not always, before a parent insists on a drug test they have other evidence that leads them to this point. If Mom had legitimate reasons to believe you were using (such as behavior or past use) then she would have reason to doubt your “shy bladder”. On the other hand, I can imagine how embarrassing it would be to be told to pee in a bottle or something with my parent watching! Even professional drug tests don’t do that - They send you to a “sanitized” neutral bathroom with a container or whatever and wait for you to produce your sample in private. There are reasons they do that.
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Comments (3)
bleachedraven 14
We're all shy in certain ways. Don't sweat it.
Yudith 28
Since your mom wants to have your pee so much, you should give her a bottle every time you manage to pee. Make sure you remind her that it's because she asked you to perform a drug test. Loudly.
Chazzster 32
Ugh, I can see some of both sides on this one. Usually, but admittedly not always, before a parent insists on a drug test they have other evidence that leads them to this point. If Mom had legitimate reasons to believe you were using (such as behavior or past use) then she would have reason to doubt your “shy bladder”. On the other hand, I can imagine how embarrassing it would be to be told to pee in a bottle or something with my parent watching! Even professional drug tests don’t do that - They send you to a “sanitized” neutral bathroom with a container or whatever and wait for you to produce your sample in private. There are reasons they do that.