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By freakingout - 02/09/2015 21:10 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump, she turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 967

You deserved it 1 619

freakingout tells us more.

freakingout 10

Thursday 3 September 2015 20:57

OP here, wow didn't expect it to make it on here ? Well so far no change, she even asked me are you sure it's not part of you, like how often does anybody know themselves there. What? I know myself very well there and it's not normal. Got an appointment with the gyno for next week so should be all good :) thought it was suspicious I got an appointment within half hour of ringing...

By Good Luck Chuck - 29/04/2013 17:07 - United States - Orlando

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 329

You deserved it 5 718

By Lo - 15/04/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 054

You deserved it 19 695

Lohbj tells us more.

Lohbj 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 8:07

ATTENTION: I AM THE ONE WHO POSTED THIS FML 1. I think it's hilarious how many of you think it is fake. 2. If you've ever posted on FML before, you'll know you can only put 300 characters which means details are left out. 3. We were running so late that my friend ran inside to scan my ticket (I bought online so I had to get the actual ticket from the counter) while I got all my bags from the car. I grabbed the keys out of the car because I met her in the lobby to exchange keys for tickets (I didn't want her car to sit there running in the middle of the street.) We were so flustered about catching the train , I snatched the ticket and took off running for the train. We didn't even realize we didn't switch back the keys. FML

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 13:57 - China - Shanghai

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 909

You deserved it 12 571

By seussical65 - 14/04/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 742

You deserved it 93 587

Overreaction much?

By brokenglass - 24/03/2021 21:30

Today, while bringing my grandmother some water, I tripped, dropping and shattering the glass. Infuriated, she explained to me that the glass was worth more than I am and ordered me out of her house for good. I live there. I was also with her when she bought the glass. $10 for a set of 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 84

Smooth criminal

By nickim756 - 13/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 570

You deserved it 6 243

Party pooper

By imbx - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 172

You deserved it 20 449

Heated gamer moment

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 00:00

Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 738

By rj - 12/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Goddard

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 629

You deserved it 5 840

By outofajob - 08/07/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 785

You deserved it 3 898

Independence day

By independence - 07/07/2011 04:04 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents' house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 3 622

By pissedchick - 07/08/2019 14:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 136

She'll learn

By alyssa - 01/04/2021 21:30

Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 1 471

By ugh - 01/06/2014 22:15 - United States - Concord

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 560

You deserved it 12 518

Lost

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Berlin

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 320

You deserved it 6 057

By danam - 05/07/2011 02:38 - Canada

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 270

You deserved it 4 341

Unlucky

By Tim - 09/04/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over, I walked around cleaning up the trash. I saw a card sitting on the table, along with a note to my mom saying, "Better luck with this one." At the moment I'm an only child, and the card was from my grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 721

You deserved it 4 258

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 07:54 - United States - Chicago

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 018

You deserved it 4 666

By outsmartedbykids - 28/05/2014 16:28 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 650

You deserved it 30 880

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 886

You deserved it 4 659

By Ugh - 17/08/2017 20:00

Today, I had my last assessment for my university degree in the form of an interview at 11am. Without doing this interview, I can't graduate. The interviewer was a no show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 441

You deserved it 218

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 017

You deserved it 6 745

By aviators - 07/04/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 353

You deserved it 29 823

GG then

By Anonymous - 24/05/2014 19:31 - United States - Round Rock

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 363

You deserved it 6 659

Narcissists never unite!

By bntje - 14/04/2013 20:39 - Netherlands - Holten

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 825

You deserved it 3 851

What was your endgame?

By Travis32 - 11/06/2022 12:00

Today, I’ve been faking an Italian accent and said my name was Alessandro to impress a girl I was seeing. My plan was going well, until on a date at the mall, I heard, “Travis, what are you doing? Why are you talking like that?” It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 2 210

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 18:01 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. After she left, they told me they disapprove of her because of her supposedly lower social class. Now I have to either dump her or lose the money they set aside to pay for my university tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 700

You deserved it 3 174

By Nottheprettylady - 05/04/2009 01:07 - Canada

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 021

You deserved it 3 836

By Username - 23/06/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 389

You deserved it 2 609

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 1 252

Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 7 583

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 657

You deserved it 2 017

Today, as I listened to the guy I've been seeing pour his heart out to me, all I could think about was how much I needed to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 748

You deserved it 1 548

Today, while buying laxatives at a store, the cashier loudly declared that I'm "too pretty" to be constipated. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 126

Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 98