Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
warlockplayer19 5
lol
Nandito2 0
hahaha!!!
Nandito2 0
^^^^ wtf type of comment is that? ???
DoggyDoggWorld 0
It's your comment.
HowAreYouToday 34
loser.
HowAreYouToday 34
I'm sure he did think that
dolphincheddar 10
hah, that kid owns your ass
Docbee 11
He's practising his skills early :3
DeepDownThere 3
^ You fail at spelling. Please go "Practise".
ArbiterOfFML 24
He is practise his skills? Da Fuq dat meen? (So you can understand what I'm saying.) And on another note, different ways are made to spell hundreds of words, in a little thing caller dialect.
2ndSucks 15
Aw. He's gonna be a little heart breaker.
HowAreYouToday 34
at least HE will have sex
FiestaInMyPants 8
48 - Practise is right, just not in America. Let's not be ignorant and an ass all in one comment.
DeepDownThere 3
Atleast who will have sex?
cameycamcam 7
why would op take that from a 7 year old? should have just called the parents. most kids will crap themselves if you even threaten this
cameycamcam 7
why would op take that from a 7 year old? should have just called the parents. most kids will crap themselves if you even threaten this
cameycamcam 7
why would op take that from a 7 year old? should have just called the parents. most kids will crap themselves if you even threaten this
DeepDownThere 3
60. I am an ass in all of my comments. And ignorant in some. Because I don't like you guys.
urdirtyolduncle 15
stfu, 67. if it wasn't good the first time, why the he'll would u do it two more times? (that's what she said)
cameycamcam 7
69 - my iPhone triple posted.
gottaluvisabella 0
how does thats what she said even apply there?
THEKAISER 4
lol
matthias82 4
frigging hilarious YLS. at least they aren't feeding you kibbles along with it.
goshpeople 4
I'm assuming the kid is learning by example. A lot of parents and nannies at the playground I frequent with my charges do this exact thing. E.g. "Oh, Johnny, you shared your snack with your sister? I'm sooo proud of you! Good boy." *pat, pat*
grapist 0
u didn't have to give an example...were not stupid like the little kids in your example.
goshpeople 4
The reason I gave an example was NOT because I thought people here wouldn't get it, but instead to show the way that parents often make a big deal about and "over-praise" the simplest things. If they do that for the minor AND major actions of their children, then it's no wonder the kids might copy this approach in hopes of reinforcing the behaviour that they deem desirable shown by the adults around them.
supermankisses 1
137- you act like you got a grape stuck in your ass. chill.
Philliesfan9391 3
Who says she isn't being fed kibbles?
Jacobt24 19
209 - more like a warermelon or a pineapple
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
So little kids are stupid now? You seem like a great person!
anorexicbarbie 8
I'm assuming the kid is shorter than you... how do you let him/her pat you on the head?
MrSexyPants 14
Well when you're sitting, it's easy for even the shortest of leprechauns to pat your head.
smurfsarwales 9
maybe op is a midget and ginger?
gottaluvisabella 0
wow that would suck to be both a migit and a ginger i bet they have no friends
Wheredidgrungego 12
She could be a tranny?
MrSexyPants 14
Uhm leprechauns are midget and ginger and they have tons of friends. They take people on rainbow rides.
daisyloo 7
Thank you for clarifying that 90 :D
TheRealSIDeal 1
23- gingers have souls!
TheRealSIDeal 1
23- gingers have souls
TheRealSIDeal 1
23- gingers have souls!
TheRealSIDeal 1
23- gingers have souls!
HeavyScout 0
Four posts? Really?
Katy326 10
203 must be a "little person" with red hair. lol
baddud300 6
Revolt!!!!!!!!
johnson94 5
"good girl... now make me a sandwich!"
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
smurfsarwales 9
he's already teaching his ho's who's boss
wordnerd42 0
Don't worry though, you're the bottom bitch. You get more free time than his parents do, at least.
lovexbox 8
Nice 29. I bet OP will eventually be working for this kid when he get older instead of his parents.
Symmetry88 0
that's exactly how I treat my bitch
kaylaaa1312 3
165 - Grow the **** up. xoxo
kathuzada 6
doggy style
kris2335 0
*whip sounds* haha ;) ;) suckkss for you!(:
mercuryburst 0
Why do you need three smiley faces in one comment?
Mattxy8 5
:D you :) cant :| have :( to :,( many D: smilies D,:
JesusFishTaco 5
Her face must twitch a lot.
theaws0m3guy 4
Smiling is good for you.
veritasdgg 0
Why are you so cute
lpca28472 0
LOL u got so much hate 4 dat comment idk y tho m
Nosrebor 8
yes, please
lol0wnee 5
shut up I meant your