Today, I was screamed at by my stepmom for “taking a shit on the carpet.” We have not one but two dogs who are losing their bowel control, and I'm 24 years-old and have never taken a shit anywhere other than the toilet, so I have no idea why she’s blaming me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my mother screamed at me because she thinks I peed on the toilet seat. Not my dad, me. I’m a girl. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, my 3-year-old pooped on the floor and blamed it on the dog. How do I know? We don't have a dog. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I found shit smeared into the carpet and I wasn’t sure who to blame, the dog, the newborn baby or the 60-year-old alcoholic mother-in-law whose husband had finally thrown her out. I did eventually find her passed out drunk in my flower bed with shit all down her legs though. FML
Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
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Top comments
SirEnigM0nk 22
Maybe she should check the mirror for the culprit. Clearly stepmom is the one losing her shit here.
D J's MOM 17
because her precious pooping pups are perfect! lol also, she's a bitch
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Comments (6)
SirEnigM0nk 22
Maybe she should check the mirror for the culprit. Clearly stepmom is the one losing her shit here.
RichardPencil 32
I'm not sure she's wrong. Seems like the dogs give you plausible deniability to stick it to your evil stepmother. She probably murdered your mom, so ******** on her carpet is just the beginning of your revenge. Mwah-hah-hah!
D J's MOM 17
because her precious pooping pups are perfect! lol also, she's a bitch
benjamn 24
Teach her what a real Duke is, leave on in front of her bedroom door for the morning
SirEnigM0nk 22
With or without flaming bag? I'm guessing without because that would be attempted arson.
SJKatt 15
Why the **** is your dad letting this continue? I assume he's still alive and kicking if you're still interacting with a step mother who obviously doesn't like you, but he needs to step in and tell his wife to rethink that shit.
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Those poor dogs and poor you :(