Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML
Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML
Today, I received the beautiful dress I'd ordered on the internet. It's a size smaller than my usual, just to encourage me to lose weight. I managed to fit into it and wear it all day, but I've now been struggling for a couple of hours to remove it without tearing it to bits. FML
Today, I was involved in a debate. Things got out of control, insults were hurled, and by the end friends were lost. The subject of the debate? Whether snot has enough calories in it to be nutritional. FML
Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML
Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML
Today, I was let go from my job, because I'm "progressing too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at." FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML
Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML
Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML
Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML
Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML
TabbyCat87 tells us more.
Today, my mom let me know that I'll have to spend my entire tax return on replacing my car brakes. The reason I need new brakes is because almost every single time she uses the car, she floors the gas while the parking brake is still on. FML
_Tater_Tot_ tells us more.
Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML
Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML
Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML
smokecloud_ tells us more.
smokecloud_ 37
Squee I get my follow up badge!! OP here. :D I'm a server at a chain Italian restaurant that is NOT Olive Garden. There were two servers manning our patio with almost 20 tables, and one of those servers also had to come inside and make all of the alcoholic beverages for the entire patio. Me, being a bored inside server and a selfless team player, ran a couple salads out for the guy tending bar. They seemed annoyed when I walked up and complained that they'd asked for bread. I whisked away and brought back twice the amount of bread for a five top (they just looked the part) when the lady said "UGH!" and pointed to a gnat that had flown into her Caesar salad, on the side of the plate she had already cleared. "Oh no!" I exclaim. "That's terrrible, would you like me to take this back and have it remade?" She declined, and that's when she rather nastily said we should REALLY do something about the bugs. I just looked at her and said sorry, we're outside, there's not much I can do about it. I did tell a manager, and he talked to them, but I doubt they were satisfied by his pointing out that we don't have nets and waving his arms at these imaginary nets. :x Anyways, sorry for the novel, I've been waiting for this day far too long. Thank you FML community, and remember, don't forget to tip your server. :D
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML
Today, I went by myself to do a birthday party in a park, dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Everything was going fine until another Elsa and an Anna showed up to a nearby party. The kids then decided I was a fake and pulled my wig off. FML
princessrose_fml tells us more.
Hi. I'm so excited this got posted. This actually happened a couple months ago. It was my first time as Elsa. And my first time alone. Unfortunately the new wig we had ordered was not very good. (The old one was unusable) and the kids at the party were already doubtful. But when the other Elsa showed up with Anna the kids decided I was the fake one and started pulling at me. They didn't pull it all the way off but we're able to tell it was a wig. However the parents were totally understanding and helped me out. Saying I we were else's helpers just like Santa :) in the end I even got tipped. Its a story I tell people now as it is something that would only happen to me. (I have bad luck) Also To those saying I shouldn't do Elsa. I couldn't say no to the party as Elsa. I get paid $50 an hour. Would you say no to that?
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML
ifeelsoloved tells us more.
I didn't have enough room to tell the full story, but yeah... I'm pretty shy :/ I can talk to strangers and people fine and introduce myself to people, and I like to think I'm a nice person to be around, but I hate "inconvieniencing people" so I was scared to go over and ask if I could come too cause I thought my presence would make things awkward and ruin it for everyone... yeah. My parents got mad at me too when I told them, but I'm just really socially awkward so that happens a lot. Also, they're just a really close group of friends with all the same classes, etc and I'm just sort of that weird outlier lol. Most of the people in the group were acquiantances who I talked to occasionally but weren't very close to, though there were a couple of friends I was closer with a couple years ago when neither of us really had friends then I am now. And honestly, those "friends" definitely use me and take more than they give; they come to me for a shoulder to cry on and a secret-keeper to rant to but don't really talk to me otherwise... I'm the last resort :( I definitely recognize that they aren't he healthiest relationships, and I would disassociate myself from them altogether, but I honestly don't have anyone else ;-; Better to have half-friends than no one, reputation wise... Plus, I'm transferring to a new school this year so yay for fresh starts! I'm just staying optimistic that I'll find some... more faithful friends I guess. Thank you to the people who posted nice messages, I honestly needed that :)
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML
Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML
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