Today, I was involved in a debate. Things got out of control, insults were hurled, and by the end friends were lost. The subject of the debate? Whether snot has enough calories in it to be nutritional. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML
Today, my friend went on a lengthy rant about how people are "healthy at any size" and I need to embrace fat pride, after I said I intend to lose weight to alleviate my digestive and breathing troubles. Apparently her activist forum knows more about my health than my own doctor. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML
Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML
Today, I had a debate at school. I had diligently studied my position, digging up historical parallels, researching the economics, and preparing citations. I lost to a guy who just yelled, "Tax the billionaires" to every question. FML
Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jet223 20
So. Don't leave us hanging. Is it?
jet223 20
Well actually snot itself does not boost your immune system but rather it is the first response of the immune system. The first response is not antigen specific and just keeps out all intruding substances. The mucus traps the bacterium and then sends it out via the nose and that is why it is not smart to swallow or sniff back in your mucus.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
IronMan_Mk43 20
No it does not. But it does however boost your immune system
jet223 20
Well actually snot itself does not boost your immune system but rather it is the first response of the immune system. The first response is not antigen specific and just keeps out all intruding substances. The mucus traps the bacterium and then sends it out via the nose and that is why it is not smart to swallow or sniff back in your mucus.
IronMan_Mk43 20
Thank you for correcting me
psychopolarbear 28
#9 makes a good point, but it has also been proven that digesting the bacteria in your mucus does improve your immune system. This operates in the same way that when an infant puts everything in their mouths, it exposes them to a multitude of the germs around them and gives their body a chance to break it down. This helps the immune system fight off invasions of such germs in the future. So, technically speaking, eating your own snot can be beneficial, just as long as you don't go full idiot and purposely ingest so much that you vomit. As always, moderation is key, even when we're talking about knocking back nose leakage.
RedPillSucks 33
you're all flaming idiots and I'm not gonna be friends with you any more!!!!
TDKopecki 16
Kinda sorta right.
teamkakashi 18
i see you everywhere and that Jiraiya picture gets me every damn time xD it's great
jet223 20
So. Don't leave us hanging. Is it?
Mightyrif 23
That my friend, is how the debate started.
xKrisSmoove 21
Another question is, what side was OP on?
Lalala579121 28
Yeah, please don't leave us hanging. That's why there's tissues.
happypenguins 24
Why just why
DedeleMan 21
That's just a weird subject to be arguing about when you could've just googled it
leopardwilliam 22
Clearly you've never argued over stupid stuff. It ruins the fun if you google it
ham_spam 17
Wow just google everything I bet 50 percent is wrong
AnalAssassin1 14
#39 My friend, Google is never wrong.
roprocha 8
Time to find better friends
1dvs_bstd 41
Was waiting for this lame comment.. Really?? Reallyyy? Because OP made it absolutely clear that both parties were at fault.
1dvs_bstd 41
HA! that's a good one.
rozalyn77 15
That snot a good reason to lose friends, everyone nose that ;P
Lalala579121 28
Why do people insist on putting things at the end of jokes to make it apparent that it's a joke? Especially with puns, personally that stuff just ruins it for me.
KaidensCrow 18
it's just a face...
NthDakotaBeaches 12
Sounds like you need a hobby...
EnvyMe33 26
Eating snot is their hobby
Mitchellbassists 29
This seems like a completely rational and productive way to spend time with friends.
1dvs_bstd 41
I would like to know how such debate could possibly go that far.
countryb_cth 38
Probably no internet connection.