Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML
Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
You may have gotten laid but the price was paid
lily05_fml 16
You should have done it in the shower
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Comments (90)
SassyCassy19 12
That sounds super gross. How did that even happen?
WCARlover 35
Gonna guess she had lice..and kissing and/or cuddling created a situation in which their heads touched so the lice waltzed on over to his head too :p
SassyCassy19 12
you would think that thats something she would have mentioned beforehand :/
kindasortayeah 25
Maybe she didn't know she had it?
RedPillSucks 33
@7, waltzing lice. :-/ that's precious. business opportunity, anyone?
JKPwnage 27
I think it's best not to ask...
lily05_fml 16
You should have done it in the shower
nyenisu 14
Yikes
whassallt26 13
But you still banged though so who really wins
pizzas_awesome 18
No one because both of them have head lice and it was probably a one time thing.
ChinchillaLady 27
If someone gave me lice it would definitely be a one time thing. There isn't sex great enough to be OK with getting lice.
KingLewisII 34
if I had to guess I would say the lice won
kittykat_bw13 12
my boyfriend gave me lice when we first started going out... he had gotten it from his 6 yr old nephew and had no idea. I'd rather get head lice once and have all three of us get lice shampooed than not be with my boyfriend.
MELKOZAR 27
#thestruggleisreal
iAlissa 34
Allow me to direct you to Twitter, where use of mainstream hashtags are much more widely accepted
sturschaedel 27
Time to sport a bald head, then.
Feklfekl2222 32
Or you know, buy a head lice treatment for a few quid...
sturschaedel 27
Yeah, as long as you find one that they aren't resistant to. Plus, having had lice as a kid with very long hair (almost to my knees at age six), if one has hair no longer than to the chin, I'd say chopping it off and let it grow back is less of a hassle.
Feklfekl2222 32
Other than waiting years for it to grow back. Mine is past my bum and I got them from my little brother, one treatment and they were gone
keyofdestiny13 24
I've learned from personal experience that hair dye is way more effective than lice shampoo or mayonnaise. That's also my preference, as it also leaves my hair soft unlike lice shampoo. Also, why do most guys immediately turn to shaving their heads when getting lice?
WCARlover 35
You may have gotten laid but the price was paid
mads_nicole 19
My scalp is itching from just reading this..
giantsfan2010 23
Uh oh, looks like it's spreading through FML now!
SubparAtBest 23
GoodGame.. I surrender.
fuckercakes 21
I had really bad head lice five years ago, took ages to get rid of. Best go get the chemicals for your hair before it gets out control
sstahpp 33
K
Ms_ValS 27
Try the lice comb. Just a couple of dollars. Put your head over some sheets of printing paper and comb away. They will fall right out. Crush them with the end of the comb. The eggs will need to be removed one at a time. You will need help for this part. My former friend passed it to me. And no that's not why we stopped being friends.
apaul982 14
Hopefully she didn't give you anything worse if you know what I mean...
denden_mushi 11
If she gave the OP crabs as well, then maybe in her mind she gave him the best of both worlds... .....I'll let ,myself out now.