Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML
Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
Today, I threw up while on a road trip. My boyfriend asked what made me sick, but I didn't want to tell him that his belching the entire time smelled so goddamn bad it made me physically sick. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML
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Top comments
That_Guy_69_ 8
Fart smell and vomit smell, hopefully wasn't a long car ride
evank98 10
Hate to say it but you deserved itOP
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Comments (69)
OhWhoCares 42
Aw that's nasty... Vomit smell never leaves from a car. Summer is coming and that heat is gonna make it stink! I guess now you know not to fart in the car LOL
ZombieVampirez 24
You better hope the seat covers come off to be cleaned. YDI. Btw, Love your picture
jtfrisch 22
Winter is coming*
flyingmind_fml 17
#46 that could b possible if u were living in another planet !!
badgercheese94 16
#54 or Australia...
starile 20
lol #54 seems to have forgotten that people living in one hemisphere will have opposite seasons than in the other hemisphere.
xapocxbiggunx 4
what the hell kind of profile picture is that xD
jtfrisch 22
It's a game of thrones reference. Not talking about weather on any hemisphere
Pharmkitty 11
I hope you weren't a sympathetic puker... That sounds very unpleasant!
SlimDanny 15
Unpleasant may be a bit of an understatement.
jmigs17 19
"Bit of an understatement" might be quite the understatement.
starile 20
"quite the understatement" might be a rather appropriate statement
srhearrell 21
Yeah, that never ends well. Hope you aren't a sympathy puker...
That_Guy_69_ 8
Fart smell and vomit smell, hopefully wasn't a long car ride
theperfectchild 13
When's the last time you shat? YDI but I definitely would have done the same thing as you. Haha
evank98 10
Hate to say it but you deserved itOP
brvnnx 18
YDI For being a ******** to your brother.
khaoticpanda 28
Time to roll the window down
OysterPearls 33
And maybe add an air freshener or two, or ten...
RedPillSucks 33
time to buy a new car
flyingmind_fml 17
#47 and it would b better if it was convertible !!
briang959 47
A lap full of vomit may still be better than underwear full of poop.
Drosophila82 18
Oh Duuuude... Serves you right. If the military finds out they will weaponize your farts into a bioweapon. What's more benign and environment friendly than to incapacitate your enemy by inducing mass vomit !